This is series of things that I just do not understand. Maybe you good readers out there can shed some light on some of these topics.
Foot fetish. Yeah, everyone is into something and that is fine. Why feet though? Were you always into them, or did it just come along at some point? What about the women that are give in to this, do you really get anything out it? There are certainly stranger things out there, but this one is kind of common, and has always baffled me.
Team sports. Bunch of dudes get together and play with their balls, and for some reason people want to watch it. In fact people seem to be very devoted to various sports teams. If you are gambling on every game, then I understand the interest. If you aren't betting, then why do you care?
The dudes that thing the stripper/hooker really likes him. It is possible, but highly unlikely. She is doing whatever she has to get money for her kid, or for her next fix, or whatever else. She saw you were weak, lonely, willing to believe the bullshit, so she lays it on thick. How does anyone really fall for this?
People that make of show of saying grace even at a fast food restaurant. Your ordering off the value menu, clearly god hasn't been on your side lately. There is a time and a place for this kind of thing, at home, with your family. Why do you need to do this in public? If you must do it in public, why do you need to make such a show out of it?
Bleach blondes. Blonde hair looks good a very small number of people. Yet a huge number of people bleach their hair. What is the rational for doing this?
Showing posts with label hookers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hookers. Show all posts
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to all my readers, and merry Christmas to all my haters.
Merry Christmas to all claiming offense for attention. May you get the attention you want, and move on to your next fix.
Merry Christmas to every overworked retail employ. Sorry about the costumers that blame you for their problems. January will be slow, at least once the returns are done being made, and the gift cards are squandered.
Merry Christmas to the spoiled children that will bitch about whatever they get.
Merry Christmas to the bell ringer. I give you a donation if you would just stop with the noise.
Merry Christmas to the hookers, your doing god's work.
Merry Christmas to all holiday drunks, may the bottle actually help you for a change.
Merry Christmas to fan of things that can't be bothered to stay current.
Merry Christmas to the people that say "Happy Holidays"
Merry Christmas to you, good will and all that, now do us all a favor and pull your head out of your ass.
Merry Christmas to all claiming offense for attention. May you get the attention you want, and move on to your next fix.
Merry Christmas to every overworked retail employ. Sorry about the costumers that blame you for their problems. January will be slow, at least once the returns are done being made, and the gift cards are squandered.
Merry Christmas to the spoiled children that will bitch about whatever they get.
Merry Christmas to the bell ringer. I give you a donation if you would just stop with the noise.
Merry Christmas to the hookers, your doing god's work.
Merry Christmas to all holiday drunks, may the bottle actually help you for a change.
Merry Christmas to fan of things that can't be bothered to stay current.
Merry Christmas to the people that say "Happy Holidays"
Merry Christmas to you, good will and all that, now do us all a favor and pull your head out of your ass.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Hookers for the Handicapped.
Sex sells. Some people make a career out of selling sex one act at a time. Among these people, doing god's work, are those who specialize in one thing or another. A few of them are specializing in servicing the handicapped.
The term "handicapped" is a rather loose term. When used here are they just referring to cripples and the wheelchair bound, or do they also mean the mentally handicapped? Is it all unlucky solders, or is it also an adult version of the kid with the helmet we all knew? Do they really take any handicapped? Are people in "iron lungs" welcome?
What leads a hooker, whore, or prostitute to specialize in the handicapped? Is it just that "no" really does mean "no" when your client is in a wheelchair? Are handicapped people just a lot less work to get off? Or does the fixed income of the disabled make them a reliable "John"? It really must be nice to know they worked you into their limited budget.
Do cops have special sting operations just to find the handicapped that are soliciting sex? If they do, do the handicapped go in the same holding cells as everyone else? Or does a special holding cell exist with a handrail around the perimeter? Do they put a wheelchair bound man in handcuffs, or do they have a "Denver boot" for the wheelchair?
Does the reverse of this exist? Are there wheelchair bound whores, for dudes in to that? Are there in fact dudes into something like that? Do they call themselves "Handi-whores"?
The term "handicapped" is a rather loose term. When used here are they just referring to cripples and the wheelchair bound, or do they also mean the mentally handicapped? Is it all unlucky solders, or is it also an adult version of the kid with the helmet we all knew? Do they really take any handicapped? Are people in "iron lungs" welcome?
What leads a hooker, whore, or prostitute to specialize in the handicapped? Is it just that "no" really does mean "no" when your client is in a wheelchair? Are handicapped people just a lot less work to get off? Or does the fixed income of the disabled make them a reliable "John"? It really must be nice to know they worked you into their limited budget.
Do cops have special sting operations just to find the handicapped that are soliciting sex? If they do, do the handicapped go in the same holding cells as everyone else? Or does a special holding cell exist with a handrail around the perimeter? Do they put a wheelchair bound man in handcuffs, or do they have a "Denver boot" for the wheelchair?
Does the reverse of this exist? Are there wheelchair bound whores, for dudes in to that? Are there in fact dudes into something like that? Do they call themselves "Handi-whores"?
Sunday, December 9, 2012
The Real 12 Days of Christmas
Yes, as it that time of year, we need at least one new song parody. Hope you enjoy it.
On the first day of Christmas
my family made me:
Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the second day of Christmas
my family made me:
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the third day of Christmas
my family made me:
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the fourth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the fifth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the sixth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the seventh day of Christmas
my family made me:
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and a Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the eighth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and a Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the ninth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the tenth day of Christmas
my family made me:
See ten people I hate
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my family made me:
Go to eleven malls
See ten people I hate
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the first day of Christmas
my family made me:
Twelve unwanted art and crafts
Go to eleven malls
See ten people I hate
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the first day of Christmas
my family made me:
Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the second day of Christmas
my family made me:
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the third day of Christmas
my family made me:
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the fourth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the fifth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the sixth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the seventh day of Christmas
my family made me:
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and a Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the eighth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and a Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the ninth day of Christmas
my family made me:
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the tenth day of Christmas
my family made me:
See ten people I hate
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my family made me:
Go to eleven malls
See ten people I hate
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
On the first day of Christmas
my family made me:
Twelve unwanted art and crafts
Go to eleven malls
See ten people I hate
Nine shitty fruitcakes
Bang eight fetish hookers
Beat-up seven Santas
Stand in six return lines
Drink a fifth of vodka
Eat four pounds of ham
Trample three unlucky shoppers
Consider Suicide twice
and Crash drunkenly into a tree
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
More fun with Counterfeit Money.
A while back I mentioned a few things you can do with counterfeit money. It is not a common thing to run across for most people, most people would not realize they had it and just keep passing it on. However if you do know you have some, why not have a little fun?
You can use it to screw with people. The various groups that camp out in front of stores are a good target. The girl scouts are a good group to pass the money on too, and you get some cookies. The salvation army man ringing his bell, well reward his ever annoying noise with some of your newly found counterfeit currency. Someone taking donations for a political cause you don't like, can you think of a better target? Of course, all of these groups are doing things legally, perhaps it would be better to pass it to someone working illegally.
It is after all illegal to spend counterfeit money; so why not spend it on something illegal to begin with? Got a drug problem, make it less of a problem with funny money. Need some stress relief? Get your fake cash together and find a hooker with big fake tits. If you want to put a hit on someone, think about how you could pay for it. Admittedly, most illegal items would take an unusually large amount of counterfeit money.
Now if you are not in the mood for fun, you could always turn your counterfeit money into the proper authorities. Not sure why someone would do that, but you could. You didn't make the money, but you can still have fun with it.
You can use it to screw with people. The various groups that camp out in front of stores are a good target. The girl scouts are a good group to pass the money on too, and you get some cookies. The salvation army man ringing his bell, well reward his ever annoying noise with some of your newly found counterfeit currency. Someone taking donations for a political cause you don't like, can you think of a better target? Of course, all of these groups are doing things legally, perhaps it would be better to pass it to someone working illegally.
It is after all illegal to spend counterfeit money; so why not spend it on something illegal to begin with? Got a drug problem, make it less of a problem with funny money. Need some stress relief? Get your fake cash together and find a hooker with big fake tits. If you want to put a hit on someone, think about how you could pay for it. Admittedly, most illegal items would take an unusually large amount of counterfeit money.
Now if you are not in the mood for fun, you could always turn your counterfeit money into the proper authorities. Not sure why someone would do that, but you could. You didn't make the money, but you can still have fun with it.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Worst Fake News of 2011.
Happy new year everyone. Before we get into all that 2012 will have to offer we are going to look back at some of the so called news of the last year. All of these items had a lot of time spent on them in the news despite having no real effect on the world at large. Some of these items had a bit of entertainment value, however the news reporting is not about entertainment but rather information about world effecting events.
Casey Anthony and her trail. She is a woman who more than likely killed her own daughter. While that is sad, and certainly worth a passing reference, there was no reason for this to be a nightly story for over a month. She was found innocent, and has gone on to nothing. Such is exactly what should happen, murder, trial, verdict, and drop off the map. The question remains why anyone gave a damn in the first place?
Charlie Sheen, the human train wreck.He is a man that used to make movies, and then made a mediocre television show. His delusions and chemical abuses lead him to being fired. While it was fun to watch him burnout, what he was doing was hardly news worthy. This was something to read about in supermarket tabloids, not something worth seeing on the real news. An actor more famous for his exploits with hookers than for his acting, is now found to have serious drug and alcohol problems, this all leads to him being kicked off TV. Did any of this come as a shock?
Two marriages got a lot of attention on the news. One was the British royal wedding, the other was Kim Kardashian's trying out marriage for a few weeks. Neither of these deserved much, if any, reporting. Prince William is a royal, but why anyone outside of his country cared about his wedding is a bit of a mystery. The US is not a place Prince William will reign over, but he is a world leader (of sorts... more figurehead) so a casual mention on the news is alright, just not the weeks of coverage we gave him. The other wedding was Kim Kardashian getting married to what seemed to be a high functioning retard. She is famous for being rich, and making a sex tape. The sex tape was not with man she married either, this might be part of the reason the marriage didn't go so well. Either way, who thought it would last, and who cared about a bitchy woman taking a tall mentally challenged man as her husband?
Hopefully this new year will have less fake news. Sadly, it will likely be quite the opposite. Seems like the news gets a little more dumbed-down every year.
Casey Anthony and her trail. She is a woman who more than likely killed her own daughter. While that is sad, and certainly worth a passing reference, there was no reason for this to be a nightly story for over a month. She was found innocent, and has gone on to nothing. Such is exactly what should happen, murder, trial, verdict, and drop off the map. The question remains why anyone gave a damn in the first place?
Charlie Sheen, the human train wreck.He is a man that used to make movies, and then made a mediocre television show. His delusions and chemical abuses lead him to being fired. While it was fun to watch him burnout, what he was doing was hardly news worthy. This was something to read about in supermarket tabloids, not something worth seeing on the real news. An actor more famous for his exploits with hookers than for his acting, is now found to have serious drug and alcohol problems, this all leads to him being kicked off TV. Did any of this come as a shock?
Two marriages got a lot of attention on the news. One was the British royal wedding, the other was Kim Kardashian's trying out marriage for a few weeks. Neither of these deserved much, if any, reporting. Prince William is a royal, but why anyone outside of his country cared about his wedding is a bit of a mystery. The US is not a place Prince William will reign over, but he is a world leader (of sorts... more figurehead) so a casual mention on the news is alright, just not the weeks of coverage we gave him. The other wedding was Kim Kardashian getting married to what seemed to be a high functioning retard. She is famous for being rich, and making a sex tape. The sex tape was not with man she married either, this might be part of the reason the marriage didn't go so well. Either way, who thought it would last, and who cared about a bitchy woman taking a tall mentally challenged man as her husband?
Hopefully this new year will have less fake news. Sadly, it will likely be quite the opposite. Seems like the news gets a little more dumbed-down every year.
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