Let's Talk About Counterfeit Money

Holiday Ideas.

This is just a list of things to do durring the holidays.

Go caroling, but only sing metal songs.

Fist fight with Santa. Most of them are drunks anyway.

Form a protest using signs and chants about "Getting the Jesus out of Christmas", and various pro-commercialism messages.

Try to buy things that were on special several years ago on "Black Friday".  

Fart as loud as you can in crowded stores. Do it near the "hot items" of the season.

Invent a new holiday and harass places about giving you equal representation. 

Put counterfeit money in every bell ringer's bucket.

Even More Fun With Counterfeit Money.

Counterfeit money is something everyone encounters every now and then. It doesn't matter how you came across it. It is in your possession, and you need to do something with it. The "right" thing to do is turn it over to the police, or perhaps just to destroy it. However, it seems there are other promising options available for your fake money.

Take it down to the church of your choice and put it in the collection plate. It doesn't need to be your own church. You might be a Catholic and want to teach the Lutherans down the street a lesson. Or maybe you just want to screw over the Scientology center for harassing you a bit too much. No matter what church you take it too, you can still write it off on your taxes. Don't feel bad about it, they sell false hope at churches, so why not pay for it in false money?

Give it too people that are looking to make change. "Hey man, got change for a twenty?", "Why yes I do". Admittedly this only works if you have small bills that have been counterfeited, and a lot of them. Of course you could do the reverse of this, stand out side a 7/11 looking to break a 50 or 100 because most of them won't take large bills.

Take it down to a "swap meet". A "swap meet" is a wonderful place where people sell stolen and knock-off merchandise off of blankets and tables. As almost everything is already stolen, it seem like the perfect place to spend a few counterfeit dollars. This way if what you bought doesn't work, you aren't really out anything.

Just a few ideas. You should of course do the "right" thing. Even if it is not the funny option.

Philosophies of Life the Universe and Everything

Now for a few words on philosophy. There are as many philosophies of life as there are people. Some are more useful, workable, or applicable to your situation than others. Philosophies should be fluid and change to fit the realities of your daily life. You know you have one to stick with when you it can be applied to almost any situation.

Is it worth it?  How do you determine rather or not to do something. A simple answer might be, in the long run, "does it bring you money, or does it bring you happiness". Some might replace "happiness" with contentment, but that is unimportant. What is important is that this statement can keep you grounded. Should you ask out that 10, should you apply for that job, should you light fire to your neighbor's lawn. Weigh whatever you are thinking of doing against the standard of "money and/or happiness", it will clear your head, and help you find what you should do. It will lead you to let go of the unimportant, and reach for the best you can do.


Getting revenge is usually at odds with the "money and/or happiness" idea. In the end revenge will usually destroy all parties involved. So if you must get some, follow a few rules. One, make sure it can't be traced back to you. Two, don't do more than get even. Three, don't contact them to gloat. These ideas do take a lot of self-control, but in the end it will work out better if you follow them. It is "eye for an eye" with anonymity, followed by a complete breaking of ties and contact.

Earn it. There are many ways to earn your way. You can work hard, which is the thing most do. You can work smart, which not enough people do. It doesn't matter how, but you need to earn it in some way. Some people steal, and that is fine too. If you planned the theft well enough to get away with it, you earned what you took. It took just as much work to plan and prepare to steal a hundred grand as it would to earn it any other way. This is not an encouragement to commit crime, merely an alternative way of looking at the situation.  Getting away with a crime is the logical extreme of "working smarter", much as starting a business is the extreme of "hard work". It doesn't matter how you earn, as long as you earn.

Sorry there is no real humor this time around. Wanted to be a bit more thoughtful this time around. Would love to hear your philosophies.

More fun with Counterfeit Money.

A while back I mentioned a few things you can do with counterfeit money. It is not a common thing to run across for most people, most people would not realize they had it and just keep passing it on. However if you do know you have some, why not have a little fun?

You can use it to screw with people. The various groups that camp out in front of stores are a good target. The girl scouts are a good group to pass the money on too, and you get some cookies. The salvation army man ringing his bell, well reward his ever annoying noise with some of your newly found counterfeit currency. Someone taking donations for a political cause you don't like, can you think of a better target?  Of course, all of these groups are doing things legally, perhaps it would be better to pass it to someone working illegally.

It is after all illegal to spend counterfeit money; so why not spend it on something illegal to begin with? Got a drug problem, make it less of a problem with funny money. Need some stress relief? Get your fake cash together and find a hooker with big fake tits. If you want to put a hit on someone, think about how you could pay for it. Admittedly, most illegal items would take an unusually large amount of counterfeit money. 

Now if you are not in the mood for fun, you could always turn your counterfeit money into the proper authorities. Not sure why someone would do that, but you could. You didn't make the money, but you can still have fun with it.

Counterfeit Money.

Every so often you find yourself in possession of fake money. Counterfeit bills that have no real value, but you got them as change, or found them on the ground, doesn't really matter how you got them as now you need to get rid of them. Now even if your money is fake, you should still get something for it.

One good place to take your bad money is charity. Teach a lesson to the man asking for donations outside of the store, just imagine him explaining this to his boss. Church collection plates are another fine opinion, and give you the opportunity to exchange your problem for actual money. Put that fake ten in the plate, and reach in and grab a two fives as "change". The church isn't selling a real product, why should they get real money? The best part of the charity option is you can write it off on your taxes.

Another good option is to spend it. Now you can't do this at any retailer, you need to find a small street vender, or any place with bad lighting. The man selling hot dogs on the street isn't going to check. A stripper doesn't have time to check every bill that is placed in her thong. Kids with a lemonade stand have never even heard of counterfeit money. Have a bad waiter? I got a great way to leave them a tip.

It might be fake, but it is your money. You didn't create it, you just stumbled across it. You could do the right thing and destroy it, or you could have a little fun.