Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Retail Retards

Ever notice the look of the people that run the cash registers most places? Something seems "off" about these people. What it is is rather hard to pin down. Likely there are several things going on, a compound solution to the problems of the retail clerk.

Drugs? Retardation? Fetal alcohol syndrome? Little of each?

Admittedly not all retail workers need much in terms of mental abilities. The cart pushers, the door greeters, shelf fillers, and a few others, can be mostly without higher brain functions and perform their tasks just fine. Walmart and Target have taken this idea to its logical extreme.

Some retail workers seem to have something wrong with them. While some simply seem to be high, other seem to have more serious problems. In the retail game, there seem to be a lot of mild retardation. Some of them seem to have both going for them. Remember, don't move to fast around them, they might become aggressive.

Clearly these people have it bad, so we should try them with kindness. Don't take out your frustrations on retail workers. Instead take them out of children screaming in the store.

More fun with Counterfeit Money.

A while back I mentioned a few things you can do with counterfeit money. It is not a common thing to run across for most people, most people would not realize they had it and just keep passing it on. However if you do know you have some, why not have a little fun?

You can use it to screw with people. The various groups that camp out in front of stores are a good target. The girl scouts are a good group to pass the money on too, and you get some cookies. The salvation army man ringing his bell, well reward his ever annoying noise with some of your newly found counterfeit currency. Someone taking donations for a political cause you don't like, can you think of a better target?  Of course, all of these groups are doing things legally, perhaps it would be better to pass it to someone working illegally.

It is after all illegal to spend counterfeit money; so why not spend it on something illegal to begin with? Got a drug problem, make it less of a problem with funny money. Need some stress relief? Get your fake cash together and find a hooker with big fake tits. If you want to put a hit on someone, think about how you could pay for it. Admittedly, most illegal items would take an unusually large amount of counterfeit money. 

Now if you are not in the mood for fun, you could always turn your counterfeit money into the proper authorities. Not sure why someone would do that, but you could. You didn't make the money, but you can still have fun with it.

Strippers.

Strippers, those wonderful not quite whores that entertain and empty the pockets of men. They dance, they grind, and usually will have sex for money. They have success as long as there exists a few men that still find them attractive and aren't bothered by the obvious sign of early in life abuse, and the crazy baggage that comes with it all. So here are a few thoughts on strippers.

The best looking strippers are found from 7pm to 2am, on Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday. The further you get from these times the less attractive the women will generally be. On a Tuesday or Wednesday morning you would be lucky to see a woman without a cesarean scar; hell you might see women with fake limps to go along with the fake tits.

You can have some fun with strippers, other than the obvious. Want to clear them out of the club? Just yell "Whoever has the kid locked in the car. They found your stash", they will clear out at speeds you wouldn't believe. Strippers are also a great way to get rid of any counterfeit money you might have come across.

Remember, strippers aren't really in to you. Also, if you have fallen for a stripper, you can do better.