Well this is the end of the third year of this blog. It is great that there are readers that come here every week. Lets not end the year on a negative note. Instead, lets be a little positive.
Long term readers of this blog will know that we are not generally kind to Christmas here, so lets talk about the good parts of the holiday season. In fact lets have a top ten of good things about this time of year.
10. My mothers banana bread. I know only I get to enjoy, but still I love it.
9. Seeing the smiles of friends as they open gifts.
8. Giving a little cash to charity.
7. Reconnection with those you are estranged from.
6. Steam sale.
5. Cheap candy the day after Christmas.
4. Shopping violence.
3. Suicide rates go up. Always gives me hopes that one of my enemies will end it all.
2. Hearing the wistful stories of holiday drunks.
1. Being incredibly grateful to not be working retail this holiday season.
Showing posts with label retail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label retail. Show all posts
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Retail "Joys"
Everyone has worked retail at one time or another. If you haven't, you were more than likely born with a silver spoon shoved squarely up your ass. There are certain people that every retail employ has to deal with at one time or another. Doesn't matter where you worked, from Wal Mart to Nordstrom, the dressing might change but the costumer underneath is the same everywhere.
The "But they have it at _____" guy. This costumer wants something that your store does not carry. They come in to inform you that the local competition does have it. They seem to be under the impression that if your competitor carries it, and they inform you of it, somehow magically it will appear in the store. It won't. If you want that item, please go to the competition, and never come back here.
Then there is the "Oh, I have a coupon.. but I think it is at home, can I use it anyway?" dumb-ass. No, you can't, not now, not ever. If you want to use a coupon, you need it with you at time of purchase. No amount of bitching at the register will make up give you a discount. Oddly enough you get this person more at place that don't actually ever have coupons. This might be the dumbest type of customer in existence, or maybe the one with the biggest balls, but then the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Oh and the "When will this be on sale?" asshole. As if the costumer service level person would know. The best answer to this person is "It was on sale a week or two a go, you just missed it by that much". It will go on sale whenever the hire ups feel like it, no one you can talk to can influence that. You will waste more money on the gas coming here to check that you will ever save on the product.
Working retail is a hell we all go through. Some people stay there forever, some move on to entirely different hells. In the end all we can do is laugh at it, because it hurts less than crying. Bonus points to you if ever told your manager what you really thought.
The "But they have it at _____" guy. This costumer wants something that your store does not carry. They come in to inform you that the local competition does have it. They seem to be under the impression that if your competitor carries it, and they inform you of it, somehow magically it will appear in the store. It won't. If you want that item, please go to the competition, and never come back here.
Then there is the "Oh, I have a coupon.. but I think it is at home, can I use it anyway?" dumb-ass. No, you can't, not now, not ever. If you want to use a coupon, you need it with you at time of purchase. No amount of bitching at the register will make up give you a discount. Oddly enough you get this person more at place that don't actually ever have coupons. This might be the dumbest type of customer in existence, or maybe the one with the biggest balls, but then the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Oh and the "When will this be on sale?" asshole. As if the costumer service level person would know. The best answer to this person is "It was on sale a week or two a go, you just missed it by that much". It will go on sale whenever the hire ups feel like it, no one you can talk to can influence that. You will waste more money on the gas coming here to check that you will ever save on the product.
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| Welcome to your personal hell. |
Working retail is a hell we all go through. Some people stay there forever, some move on to entirely different hells. In the end all we can do is laugh at it, because it hurts less than crying. Bonus points to you if ever told your manager what you really thought.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Retail Retards
Ever notice the look of the people that run the cash registers most places? Something seems "off" about these people. What it is is rather hard to pin down. Likely there are several things going on, a compound solution to the problems of the retail clerk.
Admittedly not all retail workers need much in terms of mental abilities. The cart pushers, the door greeters, shelf fillers, and a few others, can be mostly without higher brain functions and perform their tasks just fine. Walmart and Target have taken this idea to its logical extreme.
Some retail workers seem to have something wrong with them. While some simply seem to be high, other seem to have more serious problems. In the retail game, there seem to be a lot of mild retardation. Some of them seem to have both going for them. Remember, don't move to fast around them, they might become aggressive.
Clearly these people have it bad, so we should try them with kindness. Don't take out your frustrations on retail workers. Instead take them out of children screaming in the store.
 |
| Drugs? Retardation? Fetal alcohol syndrome? Little of each? |
Admittedly not all retail workers need much in terms of mental abilities. The cart pushers, the door greeters, shelf fillers, and a few others, can be mostly without higher brain functions and perform their tasks just fine. Walmart and Target have taken this idea to its logical extreme.
Some retail workers seem to have something wrong with them. While some simply seem to be high, other seem to have more serious problems. In the retail game, there seem to be a lot of mild retardation. Some of them seem to have both going for them. Remember, don't move to fast around them, they might become aggressive.
Clearly these people have it bad, so we should try them with kindness. Don't take out your frustrations on retail workers. Instead take them out of children screaming in the store.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Two Groups that MUST go.
This is some thoughts on two groups of people. I mean no harm to anyone.
Bicycle riders on major streets. They need to find a bike trail, or it needs to be made legal to run these people over. They need to take there silly outfits, and smug attitudes, and get off the main streets. They aren't going anywhere, they just want others to see them exercising. It is pretentious exhibitionist bullshit. I would wish cancer on them, but then they might morph into the next group.
People that need to let you know what is wrong with them entirely too much. You might be sick, and that is sad, but don't bring it up for no reason. Once upon a time I worked at a big retail store, and there was a customer that had "brain cancer". I know she had "brain cancer", because when she was in the store every thing she said was prefixed with "Excuse me, I have brain cancer, and...", and when helping her, she would mention it 400 more times. It is sad she had cancer, but after talking to her, everyone I worked with agreed it wasn't killing her fast enough. If you are dieing, keep it just a little closer to the chest.
Thanks for reading today. If you ride a bike on a major street because you lack a car, that is cool, and I bare no malice toward you. If you have cancer, I am sorry, just don't bring it up in every conversation.
Bicycle riders on major streets. They need to find a bike trail, or it needs to be made legal to run these people over. They need to take there silly outfits, and smug attitudes, and get off the main streets. They aren't going anywhere, they just want others to see them exercising. It is pretentious exhibitionist bullshit. I would wish cancer on them, but then they might morph into the next group.
People that need to let you know what is wrong with them entirely too much. You might be sick, and that is sad, but don't bring it up for no reason. Once upon a time I worked at a big retail store, and there was a customer that had "brain cancer". I know she had "brain cancer", because when she was in the store every thing she said was prefixed with "Excuse me, I have brain cancer, and...", and when helping her, she would mention it 400 more times. It is sad she had cancer, but after talking to her, everyone I worked with agreed it wasn't killing her fast enough. If you are dieing, keep it just a little closer to the chest.
Thanks for reading today. If you ride a bike on a major street because you lack a car, that is cool, and I bare no malice toward you. If you have cancer, I am sorry, just don't bring it up in every conversation.
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