Retail "Joys"

Everyone has worked retail at one time or another. If you haven't, you were more than likely born with a silver spoon shoved squarely up your ass. There are certain people that every retail employ has to deal with at one time or another. Doesn't matter where you worked, from Wal Mart to Nordstrom, the dressing might change but the costumer underneath is the same everywhere.

The "But they have it at _____" guy. This costumer wants something that your store does not carry. They come in to inform you that the local competition does have it. They seem to be under the impression that if your competitor carries it, and they inform you of it,  somehow magically it will appear in the store. It won't. If you want that item, please go to the competition, and never come back here.

Then there is the "Oh, I have a coupon.. but I think it is at home, can I use it anyway?" dumb-ass. No, you can't, not now, not ever. If you want to use a coupon, you need it with you at time of purchase. No amount of bitching at the register will make up give you a discount. Oddly enough you get this person more at place that don't actually ever have coupons. This might be the dumbest type of customer in existence, or maybe the one with the biggest balls, but then the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Oh and the "When will this be on sale?" asshole. As if the costumer service level person would know. The best answer to this person is "It was on sale a week or two a go, you just missed it by that much". It will go on sale whenever the hire ups feel like it, no one you can talk to can influence that. You will waste more money on the gas coming here to check that you will ever save on the product.

Welcome to your personal hell.

Working retail is a hell we all go through. Some people stay there forever, some move on to entirely different hells. In the end all we can do is laugh at it, because it hurts less than crying. Bonus points to you if ever told your manager what you really thought.

Retail Retards

Ever notice the look of the people that run the cash registers most places? Something seems "off" about these people. What it is is rather hard to pin down. Likely there are several things going on, a compound solution to the problems of the retail clerk.

Drugs? Retardation? Fetal alcohol syndrome? Little of each?

Admittedly not all retail workers need much in terms of mental abilities. The cart pushers, the door greeters, shelf fillers, and a few others, can be mostly without higher brain functions and perform their tasks just fine. Walmart and Target have taken this idea to its logical extreme.

Some retail workers seem to have something wrong with them. While some simply seem to be high, other seem to have more serious problems. In the retail game, there seem to be a lot of mild retardation. Some of them seem to have both going for them. Remember, don't move to fast around them, they might become aggressive.

Clearly these people have it bad, so we should try them with kindness. Don't take out your frustrations on retail workers. Instead take them out of children screaming in the store.

Customer Service.

Most people have been on both sides of customer service. We all had to deal with an unreasonable customer, a clerk that clearly didn't care, or perhaps just a profoundly stupid individual on either side. The problem on both sides are people that are just complete assholes.

Customer service people are paid to service customers. Many of them are take this the wrong way. Most of them are apathetic, uninformative, and more interested their phones than helping customers. Someone walks up looking for a product from an empty shelf, rather than check for more, they just shrug and say "I guess were out". At least bullshit the guy a bit, walk to the back and count to five, or fake checking inventory on a computer. Don't be so obvious with the fact that you don't give a shit, at least bullshit a little to earn your check.


On the other side there are loud, self centered customers. People that need printer ink, but don't know what kind of printer they have, or what cartridge it takes. People that see a long line, and try to come right to the front of it. Or the real superstars that come in looking for "that thing I saw on TV", but won't give anymore detail about what they want. If you don't know what you need, don't assume anyone can help you find it. Try bring the empty printer cartridge, or getting in the back of the line, or finding out the name of  "that thing on the TV".

We have all been on both sides, at least most of have. The end source of all problem with both sides are people that are exceptionally self-centered, too stupid to ask for what they need clearly, or maybe a lot of people that just don't give a shit. So we need smarter people on both sides, that know the universe is not about them, and maybe we could all put ourselves in the other man's shoes. We just need some sympathy, some courtesy, and some taste.