Some people just can't be with only one person. You can't always tell who these people are, but there are some signs to watch for. Some are useful to find a one night stand, other are good indicators to avoid these people completely. You can't always tell if you are compatible or not, but there too are signs for that.
Want to know how loyal that married woman is? Just look at her hand. The more expensive and ornate her ring is, the more likely she is to be having some fun on the side. A woman with a simple ring with a small stone, she really love the man she is with, and wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Loyalty here has an inverse relationship to the quality of ring.
How do you know if a man cheated? Did he travel alone? If he did, then he did. Men aren't generally looking to cheat, but aren't going to turn down a free meal. Don't like that idea? Sorry, reality doesn't care what you like.
On the other hand there is just crazy. Crazy take many forms, but it is never good in the long run. Now there are levels, and everyone has a little crazy to them. When you find the big crazy, just run. You can't fix crazy. Somethings just can't be fixed.
Speaking of "fixing" people. If are a broken person, and someone wants to fix you, it won't work. They will try, but you are what you are, and the relationship will end badly. So if you think you need to fix the person you are with, just walk away. Now if you are broken, just find a person with another kind of brokenness, something that complements your own, you will lean on one another and make something new out of the broken bits. When the right two broken people get together, they make a new and better whole.
One more thing, don't sit thinking about the one that got away. They aren't thinking of you, and you don't need the grief. Find someone else, even if only for a night.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Song Parody.
Sometimes you hear a song and you hate it. In your hate you start making up other lyrics for the song. Sometimes these amuse only yourself, other times you can make others laugh with it.
The original is by a below average band called Linkin Park, and the song "One step closer". The lyrics originally were generic angst ridden bullshit, like the vast majority of their songs, and the songs of their contemporaries. So here is a nice lyrical parody.
I cannot hold it anymore
I've been holding it since the day before
All this piss it makes no sense
I need a place to drain my piss
More I drink the more I spray
You'll clean it up anyway
(Just like before)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
I hate when my urine is all clear
Drank too much and now its here
All this piss it makes no sense
I finally found a place to piss
Nothing seems hit the bowl
All over the seat again
(Just like before)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Shut up when I'm in the bathroom
Shut up, shut up, shut up
Shut up when I'm in the bathroom
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
I'm about to... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
The original is by a below average band called Linkin Park, and the song "One step closer". The lyrics originally were generic angst ridden bullshit, like the vast majority of their songs, and the songs of their contemporaries. So here is a nice lyrical parody.
I cannot hold it anymore
I've been holding it since the day before
All this piss it makes no sense
I need a place to drain my piss
More I drink the more I spray
You'll clean it up anyway
(Just like before)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
I hate when my urine is all clear
Drank too much and now its here
All this piss it makes no sense
I finally found a place to piss
Nothing seems hit the bowl
All over the seat again
(Just like before)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Shut up when I'm in the bathroom
Shut up, shut up, shut up
Shut up when I'm in the bathroom
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
I'm about to... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Every time I take a leak
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And right up on he seat)
I need little time to piss
('Cause it's one step closer to the edge)
(Right up on the seat)
Monday, July 16, 2012
So I made a video.
Nothing funny here today. There is a lot of personal stuff getting in my way this week, so I don't have time to do my usual semi-funny ranting. I prefer not to go into complete detail, but it involves family, surgery, and other personal matters. Right before all of this landed on me I was attempting to make an internet video.
Here is that attempt. I know it is not a masterpiece.
I am hoping to get better at them.
Here is that attempt. I know it is not a masterpiece.
I am hoping to get better at them.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Pet Peeves.
This is just a series of things that have been on my mind lately. Some people might call them pet peeves, but I am to angry for that, these are major psychotic hatreds that will one day make me snap. Feel bad for whoever is around me when that happen.
Young people that think they can solve the worlds problems. Your 19, and you think you can fix the world, but by the time you hit 23 you will have given up, and will begin to hate the person you were at 19. You can't fix the world, so please shut the hell up.
People with high ideals. They are never based in reality. There is another universe in which your ideal are practical, we don't exist in that one.
High pitched anything. Shut all children up, and oil all metal on metal contact. Duct tape and WD-40 exist for a reason.
Abusive people. Ironically these people just need a good beating. They needed one, and never got one. Might be too late now. Guess we will need to use a gun on them.
Fanboys. I don't care what you are into, nothing you say will make me care. Also how is it that fanboys are always have horrid personal hygiene, but everything they own related to their obsession is squeaky clean?
Openly religious people. Keep your imaginary friend to yourself. These people might just be fanboys themselves.
People obsessed with "reality" tv. It is just really poorly done fiction.
People that don't speak the native language of the country they are in. When I go to Canada I speak french where appropriate. When in Mexico I speak Spanish. I might not speak them perfectly, but at least I try. Is expecting the same form other so much?
Old women trying to look a lot younger than they are, it just makes it more obvious you are old bitch. Dress your age, you have never fooled anyone. The young dudes that come up to you are only there because they know you are an easy target.
People that can't hold their liquor. Man up light weight. Build your tolerance, and drink with pride.
Stoners that only talk about "legalizing it". One day it will happen, but nothing you are doing on your couch is going to speed it along.
Chicks that don't make with the head.
People that censor anything. It doesn't matter that you are offended. People can express themselves however they want. If you don't like it, ignore it, walk away from it, express yourself in a way opposed to them.
5 dollar pizzas. Yeah they are cheap, but they suck. I would rather spend 10 and get decent pizza. Better still, lets get 25 together and get a good, or maybe even great, pizza.
Anyone super into an "indy" scene. Independent stuff is just like regular stuff, 10% is great, 10% is crap, and the other 80% is in the middle. It doesn't matter if it is music, movie, video games, or anything else.
Flavored beer. I want beer to taste like beer. I don't want it to taste like fruit, or like sugar, or coffee, or any other flavor. Beer is its own flavor, and it is great flavor all on its own.
Young people that think they can solve the worlds problems. Your 19, and you think you can fix the world, but by the time you hit 23 you will have given up, and will begin to hate the person you were at 19. You can't fix the world, so please shut the hell up.
People with high ideals. They are never based in reality. There is another universe in which your ideal are practical, we don't exist in that one.
High pitched anything. Shut all children up, and oil all metal on metal contact. Duct tape and WD-40 exist for a reason.
Abusive people. Ironically these people just need a good beating. They needed one, and never got one. Might be too late now. Guess we will need to use a gun on them.
Fanboys. I don't care what you are into, nothing you say will make me care. Also how is it that fanboys are always have horrid personal hygiene, but everything they own related to their obsession is squeaky clean?
Openly religious people. Keep your imaginary friend to yourself. These people might just be fanboys themselves.
People obsessed with "reality" tv. It is just really poorly done fiction.
People that don't speak the native language of the country they are in. When I go to Canada I speak french where appropriate. When in Mexico I speak Spanish. I might not speak them perfectly, but at least I try. Is expecting the same form other so much?
Old women trying to look a lot younger than they are, it just makes it more obvious you are old bitch. Dress your age, you have never fooled anyone. The young dudes that come up to you are only there because they know you are an easy target.
People that can't hold their liquor. Man up light weight. Build your tolerance, and drink with pride.
Stoners that only talk about "legalizing it". One day it will happen, but nothing you are doing on your couch is going to speed it along.
Chicks that don't make with the head.
People that censor anything. It doesn't matter that you are offended. People can express themselves however they want. If you don't like it, ignore it, walk away from it, express yourself in a way opposed to them.
5 dollar pizzas. Yeah they are cheap, but they suck. I would rather spend 10 and get decent pizza. Better still, lets get 25 together and get a good, or maybe even great, pizza.
Anyone super into an "indy" scene. Independent stuff is just like regular stuff, 10% is great, 10% is crap, and the other 80% is in the middle. It doesn't matter if it is music, movie, video games, or anything else.
Flavored beer. I want beer to taste like beer. I don't want it to taste like fruit, or like sugar, or coffee, or any other flavor. Beer is its own flavor, and it is great flavor all on its own.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Controversial Opinions.
These are a few opinions I hold that seem to get people going. I don't see what the big deal is, I am not trying to force these views on anyone, but it would seem holding them is enough to get people after my blood. So lets explore them.
Pornography is art. Film and photography are both considered art. Why should film and photography of a particular subject be barred from being called "art"? When trying to define the difference between what was art and what was porn Justice Potter Stewart said "...I know when I see it...", this is bullshit, because this is no difference. Sexual content, or intent to sexually arouse you, does not limit the scoop of what art is.
It is more than somewhat likely Jesus didn't exist. While he might be a good role model, and might have a few good stories about him, there is not much in the way of proof that he was ever really here. The majority of sources that offer any proof are ones that exist within various churches, and these have a vested interest in keeping him real. We can prove many people far older than him were real, but he seems to be much more slippery. I guess it is time we went looking for a body.
Rap isn't music. No one has an instrument, no one is singing, there is just some talking. There is no harmony or melody, there is no real rhythm, there is a loud constant beat that doesn't go anywhere. It is a valid form of expression, it just isn't music.
Pornography is art. Film and photography are both considered art. Why should film and photography of a particular subject be barred from being called "art"? When trying to define the difference between what was art and what was porn Justice Potter Stewart said "...I know when I see it...", this is bullshit, because this is no difference. Sexual content, or intent to sexually arouse you, does not limit the scoop of what art is.
It is more than somewhat likely Jesus didn't exist. While he might be a good role model, and might have a few good stories about him, there is not much in the way of proof that he was ever really here. The majority of sources that offer any proof are ones that exist within various churches, and these have a vested interest in keeping him real. We can prove many people far older than him were real, but he seems to be much more slippery. I guess it is time we went looking for a body.
Rap isn't music. No one has an instrument, no one is singing, there is just some talking. There is no harmony or melody, there is no real rhythm, there is a loud constant beat that doesn't go anywhere. It is a valid form of expression, it just isn't music.
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