10 worst things that happened in 2014

Everyone out there is making list of hopes for the new year. Seems a little to upbeat. So here are 10 predictions of the worst things that will happen in 2014.

10. Bubonic plague comes back with a vengeance. It becomes air born, and cuts the world population down to only a third of its current size.

9. Canada as a whole catches fire. Canadians everywhere are to polite to say anything about it. French Canada finally successfully seceded in the aftermath.

8. Kim Kardashian commits suicide by an explosive device strapped to her chest. She takes her entire family and Kanye West with her. This is seen as a tragedy by plastic surgeons and their accounts.

7. The end of the human race becomes more likely as sex-bots come on the market. Men everywhere stop giving a shit, and birth rates plummet.

6. The McRib is retired... FOREVER!!!

5. Global warming starts to take hold, only to be halted by the nuclear winter caused by North Korea. It works out for the best, as North Korea only hit themselves when they launched.

4. Justin Bieber found dead from severe rectal trauma in mid August. Alright, most people saw this one coming.  Yes, this happened at a brothel.

3. "300: Rise of an Empire" was released to theaters.

2. New Orleans gets flooded again. Seems like we just finished the clean up form the last time too.

1. A zombie plague breaks out in the Vatican in early March. No one can really tell much of a difference. Still, it does stink up the place.

Zombie Questions

Well, we talked about vampires last week, so how about some zombies this time. Like vampires, zombies appear in a lot of mythologies taking many different forms. They can be living men without souls, the dead raised again, people inflicted with a particularly bad infection, and many other forms still.

The modern versions of zombies we see today are generally the victims of a disease or virus. This has several problems. First, are zombies the only carriers? Or could fleas, mosquitoes, rats, and house pets also be carries? If so, are they only carriers, or would we have zombie bugs and animals to worry about? If you did have a zombie bug, and a spider ate it, would the spider become a zombie, and would that effect its behavior at all? Further would the zombie animals and insects be interested in humans, or would they be after their own kind?

If only zombies are carriers, how effective are zombies at hunting? If they are effective hunters, then the plague can't spread that fast, as a victim would need to be bitten and get away. So if there is a large portion of the population being bitten and getting away, how dangerous are the zombies really? Is it possible all the victims of the zombies are just he dumbest people that couldn't avoid a rather ineffective zombie attack? It is hard to have it both ways, zombies are either a very small number of highly effective killing machines, or they are punch drunk senior citizens.

Why do you only see regular people zombies? Why do you never see disabled zombies? You know, like a wheelchair zombie, or maybe one with a prosthetic limb? What a about a pregnant woman becoming a zombie? Would that by default make her child a zombie? Would the zombie fetus try to chew its way out? If the zombie fetus did chew its way out, would keep growing once it did? What about a person with some form of retardation becoming a zombie? Would they still be "retard strong" as a zombie?

Two things that should exist.

These are a two things that don't seem to exist anywhere. At least "Google" didn't seem to know of where to find examples of these ideas in practice. If you know of an example of one of these, please do tell.

Why has there never been someone sexually abusing a zombie in any medium. Never read a story where this has happened, never seen a movie where this happened either. Seems like some sick person would capture a zombie for sexual exploitation. It wouldn't even need to be intentional, what if a submissive at somekind of BDSM dungeon came down with the zombie plague and no one noticed? Also, would a zombie plague be sexual transmissible? Aside from that, would you this technically count any of this as necrophilia?

Would you?

Some really  good jokes about abortion. Seems like this is a subject that is overlooked in the joke department. Or how about using an aborted fetus as a character in a comedy? What if you did a period movie about Jesus, only he was miscarried by Mary, and now a fetus Jesus need to go through the whole story including getting nailed up? That is some comedy gold right there.

Two Things, One Serious, One not so much.

Alright, two things today. First the more serious. I wold like to get more eyes on this blog, and more eyes on my various YouTube videos (channel right at the top of the page). Problem is, I have no idea how to do that. Does anyone? I would love any advice. I want to make people laugh, but you can't do that without an audience. This is not meant as a plea for help, or a cry for attention, this is just something on my mind I wanted to share with the good readers(or is viewers the right term) that I have. Thank you.

Now on to more usual schitck...

The Halloween time has stirred up some thoughts on horror. Not only horror, but fantasy and science fiction as well. These all being genres associated with Halloween to varying degrees. All get a bit of a spotlight on them for the month of October.

Are zombies and animated skeletons connected in some way? Does a zombie at a certain point become skeleton? Like if the zombie's flesh were to completely rot away, would the zombie then simply become an animated skeleton? Or are they completely unrelated? Sure they are both undead, beyond that are more closely connected?

While on the subject of zombies, do the cognitive abilities of a zombie degrade over time? When first risen, or turned, is a zombie at its peak? Or does it become better with age? Is a zombie more like beer or wine? If zombie are made by some kind of disease or infection, are some people more resistant than others? And would natural mutations lead to different breeds of zombie?

Has there ever been a medieval fantasy in which the adviser to the king wasn't corrupt? Seems like adviser, consort, vizier, or whatever, is not just corrupt but grossly corrupt. Shouldn't there be some screening for this kind of job? To work at a retail store you need a back ground check and a drug test, shouldn't someone with the ear of the king get at least the same treatment? Or are all of them just political douchebags that got where they are at with bribes and ass kissing? Seems like some tighter standards should be held by kings.

Movie Ideas.

Just some thoughts on movies that likely haven't been made yet.

1. A zombie movie staring a necrophiliac. How would a necrophiliac feel about the undead? They like their partners dead, but what about undead? It shocks me that we haven't seen a zombie chained up for some sex at some point. Seems like this situation would have to come up in such a world.

2. A romantic comedy that is actually funny.Or that is a honest look at "romance".

3. A movie where someone comes back to the town they hated and couldn't wait to leave in there youth, and they still hate it when they come back later in life. Better still, what if it seemed even worse after all the years had past? Most things don't get better with age.

4.  An accurate history epic. Show us how it really was, not the white wash that we want to see.