This Really Exists Vol. 1

Sometimes you are dumbfounded to find that something actually exists. You may wonder why it exists, or who it was meant for, but in the end you can think of no answers. One such thing is the commentary tracks that are on pornographic DVDs. Yes, director and actor commentary on pornography. It would seem that it is so hard to understand the actor's motivation, or the effect the director was hoping to attain, that we need to hear what they have to say to clarify what is going on.

His motivation? Could it be banging a hot 20 year old?

These are movies made for people to masturbate too. Is the commentary track there for a fetish of some kind? Is there someone watching that can't get off without hearing the director talking about what went wrong on set? The directors don't have much to say, the commentary track doesn't seem to be their idea. It is great to learn how many takes it took get the money shot just right. Without that information, how could you ever get off?

The actors are far worse than the director. The men don't have much to say, just how many scenes they did that day, or which actresses they enjoy working with. The women on the other hand have lots to say, and none of it is anything you want to hear. The women want to tell the story of how they started doing porn. That story always starts with molestation, and usually incest. Not really things you want to hear when about to rub one out.

Thank you porn industry. Without commentary what would we ever do? How would we ever learn things we don't want to know?

Black Friday.

It is that time of year when normally reasonable people spend hours to get 20$ off a bottom of the line television. It is a day retail employs hate, and only the dumbest of consumers enjoy. This day once signaled the start of the "Christmas season", now is seems to be right in the middle of this horrid time of year. Black Friday gets a little worse each year.

People think they will get good deals, but they don't. First, the deal are on items that are by and large not that good. Second there is the time spent to get the item. Time has a value, this value is different for each person. Rather than standing in line that time could be better spent doing almost anything thing else. The time wasted in line could be spent making money, sleeping, enjoying a meal, masturbating, with your other half, etc. By the time you have spend 3 (or more) hours in line, the money you might be saving is no longer worth it. So, if you need a deal wait till a sale next year, no waiting in line, and it will be a better model than the factory rejects that they sell only on Black Friday.

Black Friday, no day is more hated by retail employees. It starts earlier than any other work day, and the costumers are in a worse mood and much dumber than the average.  In the first half hour of the day, all the advertised deal are gone. So the remaining time in the day is spent hearing "What do you mean sold out?! When will you get more?!", the answer is never as the stuff on sale are promotional items that aren't normally carried. Then come the demands to see a manager, all of whom are hiding in the back, and won't come out for anything short of a fire. All of this ends with the store looking like looters have raided it, and it will remain in this state till sometime in the middle of January.

Every year Black Friday gets a little worse. The first was sometime in the 60's (so says Wikipedia), and slowly it has grown in to the hell on earth it is today. With each year store advertise a little more, and open a little earlier, 7am, 6am, 5am, 4am. The line wraps around the store a little more, and the shoppers come a bit earlier. This year it has gotten to a very sad point, Black Friday actually started at 10pm on Thursday at Wal-Mart. So where does it go next year? Do we go to 9pm Thursday? Will we eventually get to Black Friday starting on Wednesday?

We must stop this horrid event. Stay home, eat leftovers, read, play video games, watch porn, or plan the downfall of your enemies, just don't go shopping. Together we can bring sanity back.