This Really Exists Vol. 1

Sometimes you are dumbfounded to find that something actually exists. You may wonder why it exists, or who it was meant for, but in the end you can think of no answers. One such thing is the commentary tracks that are on pornographic DVDs. Yes, director and actor commentary on pornography. It would seem that it is so hard to understand the actor's motivation, or the effect the director was hoping to attain, that we need to hear what they have to say to clarify what is going on.

His motivation? Could it be banging a hot 20 year old?

These are movies made for people to masturbate too. Is the commentary track there for a fetish of some kind? Is there someone watching that can't get off without hearing the director talking about what went wrong on set? The directors don't have much to say, the commentary track doesn't seem to be their idea. It is great to learn how many takes it took get the money shot just right. Without that information, how could you ever get off?

The actors are far worse than the director. The men don't have much to say, just how many scenes they did that day, or which actresses they enjoy working with. The women on the other hand have lots to say, and none of it is anything you want to hear. The women want to tell the story of how they started doing porn. That story always starts with molestation, and usually incest. Not really things you want to hear when about to rub one out.

Thank you porn industry. Without commentary what would we ever do? How would we ever learn things we don't want to know?