I want...

 I want a toilet with a built in scale. Not to weigh the person on the toilet. Just to weight the contents of the toilet. Could add a way to see the volume too. Be nice to know if really did break your old record.

I want a game controller that measures the vital signs of the user. Also, the pressure they are holding the controller with. I want to know what games are really the most stressful. 

 I want a streaming service that only has television show that lasted one season. A streaming service of failure. 

 I want a special feature that just tells you how much everyone was paid. So you could see how over paid the stars are, and how underpaid everyone else is. 

I want an online store that will tell you which product reviews are fake. 

I want...

A shitty post.

Just took my favorite kind of shit. I call it the "Champagne Shit", no it has nothing to do with drinking champagne. It is where you take a shit where the first part is solid, but then after that it is all liquid shit coming out of you. So it is like when the cork is popped out of a bottle of champagne.

It is a rare kind of shit, that you don't see daily. Might not even see it once a year. However, when it happens, it is going to be a great day.

You might be wondering why I bring up defecation today. Well I had a few day where I could not use my own toilet, or my own shower for that matter. You don't realize the joys of shitting in your own toilet till suddenly you can't do it.

So today, having finally regained full use of my bathroom, I wanted to share with you one of life's simple pleasures, the "Champagne Shit".