Sunday, April 21, 2013

Never Own a Truck.

You are just asking for bullshit when you own a truck. People expect you to do things. While at the same time there are things you can never do when you own a truck. Sometimes the same people that want to use you for your truck, are also pissed that you drive a truck. It is all a big bullshit headache, and one you don't want to ever deal with.

I wish my truck was this new or nice. Mine is old and not this make or model.

Helping people move. When you own a truck you are expected to help people move. Sometimes you might get paid, but even when you do the job is not worth the pay. Most of the time your lucky if you break even on the gas. This is the biggest burden of owning a truck, having to give up your weekends in exchange for a sore body and a lack of free time.

Related to the hassle of helping people move, is helping people haul things. It might be a large item from a store being taken back to there home, or it could be unwanted items being taken to the landfill. Either way it is going in your truck and you need to waste your time and gas to get rid of it. This often comes with the person that asked for your help being angry that you don't have rope with you. A truck cab is small, you can't carry extras with you at all times. Not that they care, they want free help with extras included.

Of course something you just can't do in a truck. You can't take a nap in a truck, at least not in the majority of them. Truck cabs are small, and you can't stretch out, nor can you recline the back of your seat, generally. So you are upright, and rather cramped, this is uncomfortable and this gets old fast. Anytime you have to wait in your truck for anything you find yourself wishing you could recline. Comfort is only one problem with a tiny truck cad...

The much worse problem is you can't have sex in a truck. There simply isn't room for the act. Maybe if both people were very small, but even then it would be incredibly awkward. Even road head is likely out of the question in most trucks. Your with a woman, it is going well, to bad, can't take it any further without finding a place. You can pick her up in your truck, but you won't get her off in it.

The one nice thing about having a truck is you never have to drive your group of friends. Of course this will piss of members of that group. Never mind that you spend every weekend help them move there shit from here to there. It is suddenly a real issue that they own a 4 seat vehicle and you don't. The restaurant is only three blocks away not across town, and it is only one trip in your car, not 4 loads of furniture in a truck across town. If they are going to bitch you can't drive the group, then they need to start coughing up more cash when they need help in the form of a truck.

So truck ownership, don't do it. Get yourself a two door car. That way no one will ever ask you for anything. While technically it has four seats, they are too small and cramped for anyone to ever want to ride in them.