Saturday, March 28, 2015

Donkey Show.

Donkey Shows are not real.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

People at the gym

I go to the gym 6 times a week. I go for an average of an hour and a half each time. In this time I have started noticing certain types of people. Most of them are awful.

First group is the "gym mutants". These are people that seemingly only work on one part of there body. A guy with no chest, back or legs, but huge biceps. Or a man with a massive chest and comically small legs.  They aren't really getting in shape, they are just becoming weird looking. They aren't evening gaining any real strength, as muscles work as a team for any practical application.

Then we have the groups. For some reason you will see one very large man with several smaller men, the smaller men don't seem to be working out, rather they are just "cheering" for the larger man. They seem to do nothing other than get in the way. Is it some kind of gay thing? Or is it a case of alphas and betas? When in come in groups too. They seems to just come to talk while sitting on equipment without actually using it. For them I assume it was either this or Starbucks.

The plastic women. These are women who come to the gym to be looked at. They have been surgically enhanced to look as good as they can. Nothing about them has anything to do with going to gym. They are there doing the lightest workouts possible hoping people (mostly younger men) will compliment them and ask them what their secret is. It doesn't matter how perky your fake tits are if they are covered with sun damaged skin.

Fitness grandpa. He is old, he is in shape. Often sporting braces on joints, usually with some scars form orthopedic surgery. No hate for these guys. Good for them. At least they are there to work out.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Suicide is Awesome (a song parody)

Suicide is awesome
Suicide is cool when you're ending your life
Suicide is awesome when we're ending the dream

Suicide is better when we do it together
Side by side, you and I gonna end it forever, let's end it forever
We're the same, I'm like you, you're like me, we're all working to harm on me

Suicide is awesome
Suicide is cool when you're ending your life
Everything is awesome when we're ending the dream

(Booo)
3, 2, 1. Go

Have you heard the news, everyone's talking
Life is done 'cause suicide's awesome
Lost my life, it's a mortal commodity
Less free time for my depressing community

I feel more suicidal than an suicidal idol
Dip my body in tasteless poison'
Three years later, find me decomposin'
Smellin' like a fossil, suicide is awesome
Stepped off the edge, guess I couldn't fly
It's suicide to live, and it's suicide to die (it's suicide to die)

Suicide is better when we do it together
Side by side, you and I gonna end it forever, let's end it forever
We're the same, I'm like you, you're like me, we're all working to harm on me

Suicide is awesome
Suicide is cool when you're ending your life
Suicide is awesome when we're ending the dream

Blue balls, cancer springs
We just named two reasonings
Lack of job, and the last string
You know fixes everything? SUICIDE!

Drug mixing, a loaded gun,
The mess it leave will not be fun
Jumping off, a knife in chest
The quick ways are the best

Money, bills, pills
They're reasons
Debts, bets, and meds
They're reasons
Depression, rejection, and perception
Everything you see, or think, or say
Is the reason

Suicide is awesome
Suicide is cool when you're ending your life
Suicide is awesome when we're ending the dream