Saturday, December 27, 2014

Top 5 Worst Fast Food Items.

Fast food is almost never great. However some of it is far worse than others.

5. McDonald's Filet o Fish. Fish as fast food is not a great idea.
Grey fist and and tons of mayo.
4. Carl's Jr's Turkey Burgers. There are several version of this, all of them are dry, bland, and forgettable.
It like a real burger, without all the good parts.
3. Papa John's Frito Chili Pizza. Don't play games with pizza.
If you hate both yourself and pizza, order this.
2. Taco Bell's Beefy Crunch Burrito. Nasty fake cheese, overly salty chips. Taco Bell has a lot of gross items, but this is stands out even their.
It is like party in your mouth, if everyone had diarrhea.
1. McDonald's McRib. All the parts of the pig not good enough for bargain brand hotdogs.
I got nothing, just look at it.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all my readers, and merry Christmas to all my haters.

Merry Christmas to all claiming offense for attention. May you get the attention you want, and move on to your next fix.

Merry Christmas to every overworked retail employ. Sorry about the costumers that blame you for their problems. January will be slow, at least once the returns are done being made, and the gift cards are squandered.

Merry Christmas to the spoiled children that will bitch about whatever they get.

Merry Christmas to the bell ringer. I give you a donation if you would just stop with the noise.

Merry Christmas to the hookers, your doing god's work.

Merry Christmas to all holiday drunks, may the bottle actually help you for a change.

Merry Christmas to fan of things that can't be bothered to stay current.

Merry Christmas to the people that say "Happy Holidays"

Merry Christmas to you, good will and all that, now do us all a favor and pull your head out of your ass.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Things I miss.

Well I miss them, maybe you do too.

Arcades. Paying quarters to play some games.

When kids could get in fights at school. Now there is this "zero tolerance" bullshit. Sometime kids need to "work things out" between themselves.

Every woman I have ever shared an evening with.

The word "retard". For some reason this word is treated as offensive. Why? Its a medical term. Does "pregnant" need to go on the list too?

Square and Enix being two separate companies. Seems like the games were better back then. Well... the Enix franchises are about the same really (amazing). The Square side of things have been on a rather steady decline.

The Prime Rib burger. It was around in 2008, it was delicious. In the 6 years since it has never been heard from again. Carl's Jr, you are starting to piss me off.

I miss when Warcraft was a RTS (real time strategy) game. Have to go back to the first two games in the series. They were good game, but certainly show their age at this point. There was a third game, but it was more RPG(role play game)  than RTS. The third one had some very superficial RTS dressing on it, but that really wasn't enough. Then World of Warcraft came out, and it is a big massively multiplayer RPG mess. Been 10 years since a new game, seems like a good time for one.

Having new and original ideas for this blog. Really miss that.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Holiday Ideas.

This is just a list of things to do durring the holidays.

Go caroling, but only sing metal songs.

Fist fight with Santa. Most of them are drunks anyway.

Form a protest using signs and chants about "Getting the Jesus out of Christmas", and various pro-commercialism messages.

Try to buy things that were on special several years ago on "Black Friday".  

Fart as loud as you can in crowded stores. Do it near the "hot items" of the season.

Invent a new holiday and harass places about giving you equal representation. 

Put counterfeit money in every bell ringer's bucket.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Things to do on Black Friday

Black Friday is coming. The last thing you should is shop. Instead you should spend a day at home. Relax, and take a breather. There is enough rushing about in daily life without adding more on a day you have off. Do nothing, or at least nothing high stress.

Do some light drinking. Stay home, and have no more than three beers an hour. Just enjoy a day long buzz. Hide your phone before hand to avoid any drunk dialing. We are looking to avoid stress.

Watch some holiday themed pornography. Or if you hate the holidays, watch some of whatever you are into. Or just find some to bang all day long. Seems like some sexual release would do you a lot more good than a cheap HDTV.

Work on that plan you have to get revenge on your enemies. Everyone has one, and most of them need more than a bit of polish. Poor your heart into it. Then you can put your plan into action and hopefully have no remaining enemies by next Black Friday.

Sleep. Catch up on all the back sleep. More then likely what I will be doing.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Warlords of Draenor

A new expansion to World of Warcraft released this month. Just like the last four expansions, the launch went poorly to say the least. Long waits to sign on, new incredibly glitchy content, and of course the worst trolls and white knights fighting for hours in general chat.

To actually play the game you will need to wait. It will take between 90 minutes and 5 hours to sign on. You will need to find something to do during this time. This is where a handheld or gaming console would come in very handy. Never thought a new PC release would lead me to playing more 3ds and Playstation 3. Seems Blizzard found a way to make it happen.

Now once you are on you will be greeted with new content. For some reason almost none of this content is phased, so you will be trying to do the same quest as over a thousand other players at the same time. This will make completing any quests virtually impossible. You need to kill 8 of a particular monster, so do the other 1500 players in your immediate area, so good luck with that. Not only that also the servers are going down several times an hour hotfix various problems, so after hours of waiting you will likely get less than 15 minutes of time in game. That monthly charge on your credit card seems so worth it.

Now if you do actually manage to get on for more than a few minutes you will get to watch "The rule of Aaron" in action. If you are unfamiliar "The rule of Aaron" the idea that the worst 1% of a group will ruin it for everyone. In this case the worst 1% is debating in general chat about how the launch is going. One group feels that there is no problem and no mistakes have been or are being made.  The other feels they are being raped (or worse). Both groups are very vocal, and neither are interested in facts or logic.

Now the actual new content is good. There is a city building mechanic that is very well done, along with new and interesting zones. The loot system has been revamped giving you more of a reason to go through content multiple times. The new stuff is great, actually getting on to enjoy it is the main problem.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Answers for Problems

Here are just a few problems out in the worlds, and some solutions for them.

Unemployment. Take of a life of crime. Worst case you end up in prison, where you will have a roof over your head and three squares a day.

Teen pregnancy. Abortion is legal, right? Problem solved.

Ebola in the USA. We fence off Florida as a quarantine zone/Ebola colony. No one will miss Florida.

The war on drugs. Two options here. One, legalize them all and tax the hell out of them. Or start executing the people that launder the money. Either way.

Illegal immigration. We annex the countries these people come from, and then improve them to the point that there is no need to leave.

Now these are just a few. If you have any problems that need a solution, just leave them in the comments, and we will get to them later.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Top 10 Best and Worst Halloween Treats.

Halloween is the best best of all holidays. You get free candy. However, not all candy was created equal. So lets see the the best and worst.

We will start with the best.

10. Dum Dums. Small lollipops that comes in dozens of different flavors, and most of them are pretty good.

9. M&Ms. All varieties. These would be higher if there weren't so few of them in the "fun size" they hand out.

8. Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme. Enjoyable as long as it is not too cold.

7. Butterfinger. Tasty, but they do tend to get caught in your teeth.

6. 3 Musketeers. Light and sweet.

5. Twix. A good balance on this one, chocolate, with chewy caramel, and a crunchy cookie. Just feels nice in the mouth.

4. Peanut Butter Snickers.

3. Milky Way. Even better if it is the dark chocolate version. 

2. Kit Kat. They are just half a fun sized, and are good in all three flavors (white, milk, and dark).

1.  Reese Peanut Butter Cup. The king of all Halloween candy. Chocolate and peanut butter, what more do you need?

Now for the other side of things. The bad Halloween "treats".

10. Pennies. Well at least it is money. A small ineffectual amount, but still.

9. Tootsie rolls. They come in many flavors, and they are all horrid.

8. Coupons. Doesn't matter what they are for. If you are doing this to promote your own business, then you need some better ideas.

7. Jolly Ranchers. There is nothing jolly about these.

6. Life Savers. This is meant to kill bad breath, it is not a treat.

5. Smarties. I hear some kids crush them up and snort them. Well, sounds better than eatting them.

4. Licorice. This is the anti-candy.

3. Religious anything.

2. Leftover candy form other holidays. Easter, last year's Christmas, even Valentines day. It is likely out of code, and should not be given to anyone.

1. Raisins. These are not a treat. If you hand them out, your house should be egged.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I am sorry.

Recently this blog has not been up to the standard I would like it to be. I have gotten lazy. For that I am sorry. Things are going to be better around here. Please bare with me. I owe ever reader better than I have been doing.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Fuck AT&T

The last several weeks my landline phone has not been working. So I called up my provider, AT&T. In the end the problem was fixed. However, it was neither a smooth or timely process.

 I called first thing in the morning, and was told they would come to investigate/fix the problem between 9am and 6pm, and ask that you leave an alternate number for them to contact you Seems like a rather large time window. It seems to have not been large enough, as they at no point came nor called to say they weren't coming. They tell you if you are not at home when they come, you will not get service, but will get 55$ fine for them showing up for nothing. However, it seems you get nothing for them wasting your time.

They did however call the next day at 8am to investigate the problem. So they made me waste a day at home, and then call and wake me up the next morning. Once they arrived it took them only a few minutes to fix the problem.

Fuck you AT&T. Your monopoly in my area forces me to use you. If any other option excited, I would use them instead.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Things to do on Halloween.

This is a list of things that is completely acceptable to on Halloween. Most of these should not be done any other day of the year.

Egg the houses of people handing out raisins. Those aren't candy. They are grapes that need to be thrown out.

Go to churches while wearing a devil costume. Play it completely straight.

Take a friends kid trick or treating. This is a loophole that lets adults get free candy.

Dress like a whore. That is pretty much what every female costume is anyway.

Use it as an excuse to show up at your job out of uniform. Just show up in your regular cloths and claim to be some character. Even the worst ballbuster of a boss won't call you on this.

Hide behind be "in character" while in your costume to get a pass on saying grossly inappropriate things. You know, if you don't have the balls at other times.

Minor acts of vandalism.


Sunday, September 28, 2014

I am very sick.

Sorry that is all for today. Vomiting is taking up too much of my time.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Top Five Most Annoying People

Some people are are very annoying. They seem to all fall into a limited number of categories. Here are just a few of those groups.

5. Women that are not as attractive as they think they are. Attractive women get a lot of leeway in terms of how they can act. This applies to 8s and up. The problem is there are a lot of 6s out there that don't seem to understand that they are 6s, and want the same amount of leeway.

4. Weekend parents. And their shitty, shitty children. We talked about how to deal with them a few week back.

3. People that sit right on top of you in an empty area. There are plenty of seats/booths/bar-stools; why the hell are you in the one right next to mine? Go find one further away.

2. Internet grammar Nazis. It seems we need to find a "final solution" for these people.

1. The openly religious. The faith doesn't matter. There are people of all faiths that wish to rape mankind with their imaginary friend(s). Your faith should be like your genitals, keep it in your pants.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Top Six Things To Do During A Heatwave

6. Get a job where you work in a walk in freezer. Or at least that involves one in some way.

5. Trick your enemies with claims of a "heat stroke" diet.

4. Blended ice and booze.

3. Enjoy the women wearing next to nothing as they go about their days.

2. Buy out all the fans, and sell them on the street for a nice profit.

1. Sex in a pool.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

For the Children

Something needs to be done about the all the children. At least something needs to be done about the children that make noise, throw tantrums, and make scenes in public places. We need a solution that will take care of all these little bastards from age four to seventeen.

Electroshock collars seems like a viable solution. Every normal child would need one. The controls for the them would not be given to the parents, rather the controls for them  would be given to every person without children. There is no point in giving parents the remotes for the collars, as the collars would not be necessary if parents were willing to actually discipline their children or do some parenting.
For each person that hit the button to shock the child, the shock would get increasingly worse. With a fatal shock being given for annoying 25 people enough to all hit the buttons all at the same time. Don't worry, this would only happen if all the people pressed there buttons within a certain window of time. For every 3 minutes a child goes without getting an additional button press, one of the former presses would be taken away. After all, no one wants children to die.

If parents lose to children because of these collars and then have a third child, the parents will also get collars and share the fate of the third child. This would prevent parents form using the collars to "dispose" of unwanted children.  This would likely also clear out a lot of trailer parks.

Or you know, parents could get off there asses and do some actual parenting. Sadly, that seems to much to ask these days.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Personal Things getting in the way.

My mother was involved in a car wreck. I have an interview that is stressing me out. So there is not a lot of extra time for blogging. So no much for you this week.

In other news, I am thinking about a starting a new video series. "Best in a Series" where I would talk about long running video game and movie franchises and give my opinion as to the best there in. I welcome feedback on this.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Beatles.

Are god awful and overrated in the extreme. They are a fine example of "right place, right time". Had they hit a month earlier or later, no one would of cared. However, they were lucky, and the members would ride that wave for the rest of their lives.

The members of the Beatles were nothing special. They all knew they got lucky and all tried to exploit it in a different way. Lets see what they did with it.

John Lennon, hippie douche. He took his fame and wanted to spread a generic feel good message. The message sounded good, but there was no substance behind it. It was a pretty package with nothing in it. John had no real ideas for how to change the world, so he gave a pleasant but empty message.In the end he got shot, might of been worse than he deserved. Kind of a shame none of the bullets hit Yoko.

George Harrison. Lets transparent douche than John, and that is something. He really tried to be a solo act, and had some success. Might of had the potential to be great had he never been in the Beatles.  Still he used his money to do some little good. He did have cancer, and he didn't deserve that much pain. Overall, better off without him.

Paul McCartney. Only reason anyone gives a shit about him is because John and George are dead. He is media whore, that wants to pretend people love him for his "talent". Wants to rape the world with his vegetarian philosophy, and really that is just in poor taste. There once was a belief that "Paul is dead", sadly he keeps on ticking.

Ringo Starr. He gets pass here. He knows he sucks, and he is alright with that.

The music of the Beatles falls into basically two categories. The poppy simple stuff, and the psychedelic bullshit. The first category sound like demos of what a band would want a song to be like. Some of the elements are there, but it needs more work and polish. Just no one ever put in the work of polish. The second is the result of having no real talent, but enough money to stay high for months on end.

So that is the Beatles. Want a better band from the same time and place? Go listen to the Rolling Stones.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Best Buy

Best Buy is an electronics, appliance, and entertainment media  store. Kind of like Circuit City, but still in business (somehow). Normally not a bad store, but a couple weeks ago they really dropped the ball.

Best Buy had a sale where first party Nintendo titles for the 3ds were "buy one get one". This deal, because of their current stock mod, meant the sale applied to eight games. The problem being that no Best Buy in my area had any two of the eight games. So I wasted a day going to six different Best Buy stores, only to be unable to take advantage of this sale due completely to the lack of merchandise in stock.

Seems that if there is a sale happening, there should be at least SOME of what is on sale in stock. It was not an issue of them getting sold out early either, as I was at the first of the six stores when they opened. None of the other six locations seemed overly busy either. So it seems this sale was setup entirely to be a tease.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Denny's isn't really food.

Why does anyone eat at Denny's. Sure it might be the only option at 3am; but short of that why would anyone ever choose to eat their? It might just be the worst food money can buy, if it can actually be called food.

If you go in a Denny's you will find three kinds of people.

 The first group are people that are high or were high recently. They had the munchies, and quality was not a concern. They just need to feed. It would seem that drugs make even the worst food palatable. This might be the worst thing addiction makes people do.

The next group are old people. At one time Denny's was cheap, and at the time I assumed that was why the old people came. Now Denny's is as expensive as a Chili's or an Olive Garden, so price is not the reason. Perhaps it is nostalgia, hard as it is to believe Denny's might of been good at one time decades ago. It is the only theory I have for this group.

The last group are seemingly sober people not of extreme age. These people are at Denny's for one of two reasons. One is a self-hatred that forces them to eat at Denny's as a kind of punishment, masochism in food form. The other reason could be that they sadly don't know any better, ignorance. Or they could genuinely enjoy eating shit (coprophilia), people must like shit, hell "King of the Hill" was on for 12 years.

Denny's has no real redeeming qualities. The service is poor. The food is seemingly made as a parody of actual food, like what someone would create if they were only aware of what food in theory as from reading a text book. The prices are FAR to high given the quality of the food.

Food for the high and stupid.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

The Internet Sucks.

All the internet has ever done is piss me off.

Forums filled with douchebags. Mostly the whiny kind. People that claim things are offensive, when very few things actually are. People that want spoiler tags on things that are years old, or really spoiler tags on anything ever. Moderators and admins that are powerless in the real world and need live out power fantasies online. This isn't just one forum, or even some forums, this is every god damn forum in existence.

"News" that is laden with misinformation. Doesn't matter what site. Yahoo, Google, and all others share the guilt on this. Some news stories have half truths, but far more of them are completely fictitious. Some of the names might be right, but the events are so distorted as to be the ramblings of a madman.

Women with fake pictures. I am happy to bang you if you are a 5. I just don't like being lied to about what to expect when we meet. Could you at least lie a little less? If you are a 5 and want to give the impression of a 6 or 7, that is fine. Don't go trying to sell yourself as 10. Keep it in at least somewhat based in fact.

Internet "humor". No meme has ever been funny. Not a single one. Repetition does not make it any better.

Blogs that are just a bunch of bitching... oh, wait... shit.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Steam Sale, kind of disappointing.

Well the Steam summer sale is almost over. One more day of sales to come. Was waiting for Dark Souls 2 to come up on sale. It has not yet, and I am very doubtful it will come up tomorrow. Truly hope I am wrong in this case.

I did buy a few goodies. Far Cry 3 and Blood Dragon, Fallout 3 Game of the Year Edition, One Way Heroics, Shadowrun Returns, and Orcs Must Die 2. That is only 6 games, which is not much for a Steam sale.

This is all rather depressing. Hence a light post this week. If tomorrow is mind blowing you will hear more. 

Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Steam Summer Sale is here.

HELL YEAH!!! Cheap PC games out the ass baby.

Steam sales come but twice a year. Once in winter, around Christmas. Once is summer. Usually the summer sale is in July. This year we got it in June for no really apparent reason. Not a complaint, just saying.

It is day three of the sale. Haven't bought much so far, but there are many days still to come. Waiting for Dark Souls 2 to be featured on a day. That being the only big release I care about.

Oh, and go Team Purple.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Interview.

Well that was... interesting. The interviewer was an overly perky former cheerleader. Would bet money that she opened her legs a few times to get into a management position. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, we all must use the advantages we have.

So I get to the store. I am told to wait over by the office chairs. Wait for ten minutes. Notice that the quality of office chairs has gone down considerably since when I first worked here. She comes out, bounce in her step, and far more energy than the situation calls for. We then start the bullshit-fest that is an interview.

"So what lead you to quit here the first time?". Well the honest answer is that I thought I had better options at the time, clearly that didn't pan out. Of course one can't say that, so instead: "I left to go back to school, it wasn't possible at the time to make the job work with the school schedule". Not a total lie, I did go back to school while not working for them, the dates might not line up perfectly, but they don't know that.

Over all I think it went well. Just need to wait and see if they call me back.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Interview on Monday

Got and interview, and I am freaking out about it. So nothing right now. After the interview, I will be back.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

An old joke.

Little something different this week. A friend of mine died recently. He will be missed. He had a joke he liked, and I am going to share this joke with you this week. I hope you enjoy it.

A gorilla walks into a bar. He sits down on a stool. The gorilla signals the bartender over, who is a little surprised to see a gorilla in the bar. The gorilla points at the beer tap. The bartender says "You want a beer?". The gorilla nods. The bartender thinks for a moment, decides the gorilla doesn't know how much things cost and says "That will be 20 dollars". The gorilla pulls a 20 dollar bill out of his fur and gives it to the bartender. The gorilla sit and sips his beer, and after a few minutes signals the bartender and points at a bag of peanuts. Again the bartender assumes the gorilla doesn't know his prices and say "Sure, 20 bucks". Again the gorilla produces a 20. The gorilla sit eating and sipping. The bartender comes up after a few minutes and says "You know, we don't get many gorillas in here" to which the gorilla replies in a posh English accent "Well at these prices I am hardly surprised."

Saturday, May 31, 2014


These are just a few suggestions for the world. Some of them are small, others not so much. They just might make the world a better place.

1. We ask all the people that are frequently "offended" to grow up. You might not like something, this is no reason to throw a tantrum about it. Your personal values are not universal, and you should not be trying to force them on anyone else. Nothing is "offensive", not objectively.

2. Real sex education. We need to teach people how to fuck. In "sex ed", all you get is some technical shit, and some propaganda about STDs.  We should be teaching people how to fuck, make it so they are less uptight. People would be much happier if there was more high quality sex happening.

3. Three free murders for everyone. Only three. Use them as you see fit. Might make people a bit more polite.

4. If you successfully fight a ticket, you get the cash value of that ticket. Cops would be much more careful about who they gave tickets to. 

5. All countries should have a portion of the government that only works toward eliminating laws. There are a lot of laws, seems like we could stream line the process a bit. This would be the ONLY thing they would do.

6. We treat censorship like what it is... The symbolic equivalent of rape.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Quit my job.

I was working there for a few months. Not anymore. I was hired for one position, and never actually worked in that position. Worked in virtually every other position that existed there. After 4 months, I could no longer take it.

To be clear, it wasn't just being lied to about the job that made me leave. The hours were extremely light. The management was incompetent. The job also required a me to be clean shaven, something I detest. Several weeks also happened with me having no hours what so ever. All of these factors lead to me calling in to say "I quit. You have a great day now". Gave me now former boss a beat to respond, they said nothing, I then hung up.

Hours were very limited. I was told it would be 3 or 4 days a week, in 8 hour shifts. It was in fact 1 or 2 days a week with shifts being 5 hours or less. Wasn't just my schedule either, this seemed to be for everyone there. On top of the limited hours, most of the staff would be sent home early on a daily basis. Some days I got less than a hour on the clock. Wasn't even worth the gas it took to get to the job.

Why were hours to so limited? I have to assume it was obscene incompetence on the part of management. The boss seems constantly overwhelmed, and confused. It was clear that too many people had been hired, and that some needed to be cut. However, the boss was unwilling to do so. Well they have one less to employ to worry about, and I truly hope that it helps some of others still there get a few more hours.

The most annoying part of all was having to be clean shaven. I know most places don't want "Grizzly Adams" working there, but most places will let you keep a Van Dyke or something similar. It was a pain, as the amount of time between days working was just enough to make shaving before going in uncomfortable.

So that is pretty much why I quit. I know it wasn't funny, but I wanted to get it off my chest.  

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Thing you don't know about The Offender

This is just a series of fact about myself. They are not meant for any particular reason. They are just information, put whatever spin on it you like.

I sell my sperm.

I read to the blind.

I don't consider your being offended to be my problem, or something that needs to be treated as important by anyone.

I volunteer at a soup kitchen.

On more than one occasion I have stopped a husband/father being abusive to his wife/family in public. Both with legal mean, and somewhat less that legal means. Situation is very important here.

I am an atheist.

I one tried to pay lip service to a church for a woman I was with.

I am completely estranged from both of my brothers. Wouldn't know them if I passed them on the street.

I was a boxer.

Not a dog person. I distrust how existed they are to see you. Some dogs are alright, the calm ones.

I didn't attend my high-school or either of my college graduations. I saw no point.

I honestly value every reader I have, and ever comment that is posted.

Wonder how many of those people could of guess. Doesn't matter, but I wanted to let you know me just a little better. If you have a question, people ask. I will answer you completely honestly and sincerely. One condition however, don't ask a question you don't really want an answer to.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Bad News and Good News

Well my truck died. It was a Mitsubishi pickup truck from the early 90s. I owned for just about 10 years. In that time I drove it less than 30k miles. As you might guess, I am not a heavy driver.

However, I did get another vehicle. It is an 07 Ford SUV. I hope it serves me as well as the truck did.

Also, I have an interview on Monday.

Sorry for the light update. More to come.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Pet Peeves Vol 3

Well it seems like it is time for some more hatred directed to the trivial things in this world. Somethings are big, somethings are small, but you know I hate them all. Third time we have done this here, and there is always more to come.

People that drag the cart behind them at stores. People doing this should have their feet cut off. Then they could never do this ever again.

Stephen Colbert. He only has one joke, and it is long past old at this point.

This new breed of troll that pertend to not understand what you are saying.

Fast food fish. Every year for Lent all the fast food place have some kind of fish on the menu. Every year these dishes are just god awful. Fish is just not something fast food places should serve.

Rage quitting people on MMOs. Not everything is going to go your way. Sometimes your character will die. Sometimes internet lag will mess up what you are doing. Unexpected things happen from time to time. Quitting because of it just shows off your true douchebag self.

Ironic user names. If you can't follow simple logic, don't call yourself Sherlock Holmes.

Creationism in the science classroom. Just a problem of location. Creationism would be a fine subject in the philosophy classroom.

People that take their dog everywhere. I know you love your dog. You need to understand that not everyone loves your dog. In fact, some of us hate your dog. Some of us see your dog, and what to skin it alive in front of you.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Rare sights.

There are things in this world that are rarely seen. Blue diamonds. White Rhinos. Things most people don't see once in a lifetime. There are other rarities, lets name a few.

Female comedians that are both funny and attractive. Most of them are neither, this actually applies to all comedians not just the female ones. There are a few. Sarah Silverman is a good laugh, and easy on the eyes. Aisha Tyler comes to mind, and is a great voice actor too. Really would like to have a third example, but sadly can't think of a third that is both funny and attractive. This is very subjective, beauty and comedy are in the eye the beholder.

Anything that actually lives up to all the hype. Getting blown, that lives up to the hype... in fact that need more hype. "Goodfellas", great movie you should watch. Seeing "Penn and Teller" live. Finally reaching a long term goal. Most things just aren't worth all the hype, finding religion, giving a shit in general, being a productive member of society, and more, all way over hyped.

Blogs that are actually worth reading. Most of them are just some asshole rambling on about unimportant shit. Oh wait... well damn...

Sunday, March 16, 2014

More Celebrity Punching

Some people wanted to know if I dreamed of assaulting celebrities other than Will Ferrell. Will if you have been paying attention, you already know the answer is yes. So, lets name some names

Tom Cruise
He seems like nice guy. Might be a little nutty. Yet, there is something about him that is very punchable. Might be his track record of horrid movies, might be the "nice guy" act is wearing a bit thin. Regaurdless, he needs a little beating.

Jon Heder
Not sure if he is still a celebrity. Don't know a thing about the man either. All I know is he godawful in every movie I have seen him in.

Everyone that was a cast member of featured player on SNL from 1995 on. Many before that too.
Only the dudes. I don't get violent with women; it is however very tempting here.

This might seem lazy to you, but seriously every single rapper, country music start, and reality TV star. No picture for this one, I feel like looking for one would make me vomit. For the record, rap isn't music. Country takes no talent. Reality TV is a cancer on reality.

Monday, March 10, 2014

I want to punch Will Ferrell

No, not over anything recent. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. This has been brewing for the better part of two decades.

Right in the face. Maybe dislocate his jaw or something.
While he has made many, MANY, bad movies, they are not the reason I want to punch this man. Nor is it his lack luster voice acting. No, it is something from earlier in his career.

The god awful "cheerleader sketch". This why he needs to some violence directed toward him. I would tell him why. If he responded with anything other than words to the effect of "I deserved that" I would have to keep hitting him.

Shame that a meeting between him and myself is so very unlikely.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Improving Kingdom Hearts.

Kingdom Hearts is a fun series of games. For anyone that doesn't know it is an RPG (role playing game) that uses characters from various franchises owned by Disney and Square Enix. It is a fun, and lighthearted game series. However it could be improved.

1. Firstly, it would be nice to see more franchises used. Square Enix has used a few Final Fantasy characters, but it would be nice more. The Dragon Quest series comes to mind. Disney own Marvel comics, and Star Wars, be nice to see either one of them in the mix. The Silver Surfer seems like a good fit.

2. Character from franchises having character arcs that aren't identical to the ones they have had in movies.

3. Maybe a little darker tone. Huey Dewey and Louie are usually running a shop of some kind. What if we found out it was just a front for a drug empire, or a prostitution ring. It would give you a little more to think about after playing the game.

4. The ability to allow worlds that annoy you to blink out into nothingness.

5. An admission that everything that is happening within the universe of the games are just a fantasy a child is escaping to while being abused/molested. Deep down, you know that is what is going on. Poor Sora... might be why his name is "Sore-a".

Sunday, March 2, 2014

I'm employed now.

I have a job, and I don't know for how long. I will still update at least once a week, and want to make that more than once. That's all for now.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

In defense of ED-209

With the release of the remake of RoboCop talk about the original has come back to an extent. The original RoboCop is a fun, and good movie. However there is one thing in it people like to bash, that being the ED-209.

The ED-209 was a chicken walker mechanoid that didn't function properly. It was in the movie to poke fun at how certain US companies release products. There are many things overtly wrong with the ED-209. It is not programed very well. It seems to lack processing power for its AI. There are clear vulnerabilities in overt places. All of that is true, and more. However, certain things people point at as flaws, are not necessarily flaws.

The one that comes up often is that the ED-209 can't use stairs, that this is a huge design flaw. However, looking at it, it was never meant to go inside buildings or use stairs. The "ED" in ED-209 has two potintial meanings. In the original movie it is said to mean "Enforcement Droid". In the RoboCop live action television series they say "Enforce and Defend". Either way this machine was clearly meant to be on the streets, or to be used at key locations. It was not meant to be a bodyguard for an individual, nor was it ever intended to let loose in an office building. 

Was the ED-209 a poorly built/designed/made machine? Absolutely. However, it is also used improperly when we see it in the original RoboCop movies/television series.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Ideas for a better world.

The world is an increasingly hellish place. There are so many things people could do to make the world just a little better. Some are so small. Even very small things can have huge impacts.

So many screaming children in public, running around, crying, making noise. Why don't we just muzzle the children. Not all of them. Just the ones that can't walk around a store without causing a scene or making an unreasonable amount of noise. Maybe put some electric shock collars on the really bad ones. The collars would not be controlled by the parents, but rather by every other adult in the store.
Remember, it is for the children.

Let people carry a sidearm. The people as a whole would be more polite if a few more guns were around. Sure, we might lose a few people, but not any of the smart ones.
Sitting on your hip. Or maybe a shoulder holster.

We should really stop putting all the dead people in cemeteries. We should be processing the bodies in to something useful. Fertilizer would be easy enough. What about human leather? What pharmaceuticals could be made with the average corpse.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Top 5 reasons I am depressed.

Title says it all.

5. I have no job. I look for work everyday, I apply for work everyday. Still nothing. Fast food won't even hire me.

4. My father is dead. Not only is he dead, but his other two sons are kicking their bullshit into overdrive.

3. Lack of money. This is tied to the lack of employment.

2. A realization that life never really gets any better. Childhood was hell. Adolescence was hell. Adulthood was hell. Guess what middle age is like.

1. A lack of options and hope.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Bukkake (a song parody)

This is set to the tune of "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk. I wish I had the ability to make this more than just lyrics.

It's kind of like a gang bang
Only without the fucking
What keeps the men all stroking (uh)
The face of her is covered


We've cum in jars so give up who you are
So let's frost her bod and her hair with our seed

She's up all coated with cum
I'm up all night no lube
She's up with frosted buns
I'm up all night for bukkake

We're up all night 'til we spunk
We're up all night to shoot cum
We're up all night to play with our junk
We're up all night for bukkake

We're up all night for bukkake. (x4)

No condoms and  no ribbing
Our cum will be her frosting,
What is this woman thinking
I'm about to shoot; you ready? (ah)

We've come so much to give up on to her
So let's frost her face and her bod with our spunk

She's up all coated with cum
I'm up all night no lube
She's up with frosted buns
I'm up all night for bukkake

We're up all night 'til we spunk
We're up all night to shoot cum
We're up all night to play with our junk
We're up all night for bukkake

We're up all night for bukkake (x4)

(We're up all night to get) (x4)

(We're up all night to get (together)
We're up all night to get (let's get funked again)
We're up all night to get freaky
We're up all night for bukkake)

(We're up all night for bukkake) (x8)

We've (we're up all night for bukkake)
Come too far (we're up all night for bukkake)
To give up (we're up all night for bukkake)
Who we are (we're up all night for bukkake)
So let's (we're up all night for bukkake)
Raise the bar (we're up all night for bukkake)
And our cups (we're up all night for bukkake)
To the stars (we're up all night for bukkake)

She's up all coated with cum
I'm up all night no lube
She's up with frosted buns
I'm up all night for bukkake

We're up all night 'til we spunk
We're up all night to shoot cum
We're up all night to play with our junk
We're up all night for bukkake

We're up all night for bukkake (x8)

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Small update.

My father's death is having more effect on me than I thought. Sorry for a second week of nothing, but right now I have nothing I can give you.

Friday, January 17, 2014

My father is dead.

Sorry, I just have nothing in me to post this week. I don't know if I will have much to say next week either. I need to deal with this, and there is nothing funny about it.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Worst Things in Video Games.

Video games are something of a passion of mine. As an insomniac they have been a very good friend to me over the years. However, there are things that happen in them that get me a bit upset. Some are design choices, some are cliches, some are just trends in the industry.

5. Fanboys. Not unique to video games by any means. Still, they make everything just a little worse.

4. Cliffhanger endings. Don't assume your game is good enough for sequel.

3. Celebrity voice actors. Wow, 3 minutes of dialog from a famed actor, that was so worth the money. Worse when you can see corners were cut other places to pay for it.

2. DLC. The idea is nice. New content, also nice. However, after a few years, you sometimes can't get it anymore. Recently, I got the urge to play some Fallout 3. I reinstall it, patch it, go to get re-download the DLC I paid good money for, and there is no longer a way to download it. Game For Window Live, always looking for new ways to screw over consumers. I miss when you could buy expansion packs on disks.

1. Forced stealth sections in games that aren't designed around stealth. Nothing brings the flow of a game to a halt faster. Your playing, enjoying it, and now here is a part where everything you have learned up to this point is taken away. Stealth only works if the whole game is about it, and the engine the game uses was meant for it.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

10 worst things that happened in 2014

Everyone out there is making list of hopes for the new year. Seems a little to upbeat. So here are 10 predictions of the worst things that will happen in 2014.

10. Bubonic plague comes back with a vengeance. It becomes air born, and cuts the world population down to only a third of its current size.

9. Canada as a whole catches fire. Canadians everywhere are to polite to say anything about it. French Canada finally successfully seceded in the aftermath.

8. Kim Kardashian commits suicide by an explosive device strapped to her chest. She takes her entire family and Kanye West with her. This is seen as a tragedy by plastic surgeons and their accounts.

7. The end of the human race becomes more likely as sex-bots come on the market. Men everywhere stop giving a shit, and birth rates plummet.

6. The McRib is retired... FOREVER!!!

5. Global warming starts to take hold, only to be halted by the nuclear winter caused by North Korea. It works out for the best, as North Korea only hit themselves when they launched.

4. Justin Bieber found dead from severe rectal trauma in mid August. Alright, most people saw this one coming.  Yes, this happened at a brothel.

3. "300: Rise of an Empire" was released to theaters.

2. New Orleans gets flooded again. Seems like we just finished the clean up form the last time too.

1. A zombie plague breaks out in the Vatican in early March. No one can really tell much of a difference. Still, it does stink up the place.