Everyone out there is making list of hopes for the new year. Seems a little to upbeat. So here are 10 predictions of the worst things that will happen in 2014.
10. Bubonic plague comes back with a vengeance. It becomes air born, and cuts the world population down to only a third of its current size.
9. Canada as a whole catches fire. Canadians everywhere are to polite to say anything about it. French Canada finally successfully seceded in the aftermath.
8. Kim Kardashian commits suicide by an explosive device strapped to her chest. She takes her entire family and Kanye West with her. This is seen as a tragedy by plastic surgeons and their accounts.
7. The end of the human race becomes more likely as sex-bots come on the market. Men everywhere stop giving a shit, and birth rates plummet.
6. The McRib is retired... FOREVER!!!
5. Global warming starts to take hold, only to be halted by the nuclear winter caused by North Korea. It works out for the best, as North Korea only hit themselves when they launched.
4. Justin Bieber found dead from severe rectal trauma in mid August. Alright, most people saw this one coming. Yes, this happened at a brothel.
3. "300: Rise of an Empire" was released to theaters.
2. New Orleans gets flooded again. Seems like we just finished the clean up form the last time too.
1. A zombie plague breaks out in the Vatican in early March. No one can really tell much of a difference. Still, it does stink up the place.