Remember if you give out raisins, you deserve the egging your house gets. Same goes for pennies, coupons, religious pamphlets, and other none candy items.
Showing posts with label all hallows eve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label all hallows eve. Show all posts
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Top 10 Best and Worst Halloween Treats.
Halloween is the best best of all holidays. You get free candy. However, not all candy was created equal. So lets see the the best and worst.
We will start with the best.
10. Dum Dums. Small lollipops that comes in dozens of different flavors, and most of them are pretty good.
9. M&Ms. All varieties. These would be higher if there weren't so few of them in the "fun size" they hand out.
8. Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme. Enjoyable as long as it is not too cold.
7. Butterfinger. Tasty, but they do tend to get caught in your teeth.
6. 3 Musketeers. Light and sweet.
5. Twix. A good balance on this one, chocolate, with chewy caramel, and a crunchy cookie. Just feels nice in the mouth.
4. Peanut Butter Snickers.
3. Milky Way. Even better if it is the dark chocolate version.
2. Kit Kat. They are just half a fun sized, and are good in all three flavors (white, milk, and dark).
1. Reese Peanut Butter Cup. The king of all Halloween candy. Chocolate and peanut butter, what more do you need?
Now for the other side of things. The bad Halloween "treats".
10. Pennies. Well at least it is money. A small ineffectual amount, but still.
9. Tootsie rolls. They come in many flavors, and they are all horrid.
8. Coupons. Doesn't matter what they are for. If you are doing this to promote your own business, then you need some better ideas.
7. Jolly Ranchers. There is nothing jolly about these.
6. Life Savers. This is meant to kill bad breath, it is not a treat.
5. Smarties. I hear some kids crush them up and snort them. Well, sounds better than eatting them.
4. Licorice. This is the anti-candy.
3. Religious anything.
2. Leftover candy form other holidays. Easter, last year's Christmas, even Valentines day. It is likely out of code, and should not be given to anyone.
1. Raisins. These are not a treat. If you hand them out, your house should be egged.
We will start with the best.
10. Dum Dums. Small lollipops that comes in dozens of different flavors, and most of them are pretty good.
9. M&Ms. All varieties. These would be higher if there weren't so few of them in the "fun size" they hand out.
8. Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme. Enjoyable as long as it is not too cold.
7. Butterfinger. Tasty, but they do tend to get caught in your teeth.
6. 3 Musketeers. Light and sweet.
5. Twix. A good balance on this one, chocolate, with chewy caramel, and a crunchy cookie. Just feels nice in the mouth.
4. Peanut Butter Snickers.
3. Milky Way. Even better if it is the dark chocolate version.
2. Kit Kat. They are just half a fun sized, and are good in all three flavors (white, milk, and dark).
1. Reese Peanut Butter Cup. The king of all Halloween candy. Chocolate and peanut butter, what more do you need?
Now for the other side of things. The bad Halloween "treats".
10. Pennies. Well at least it is money. A small ineffectual amount, but still.
9. Tootsie rolls. They come in many flavors, and they are all horrid.
8. Coupons. Doesn't matter what they are for. If you are doing this to promote your own business, then you need some better ideas.
7. Jolly Ranchers. There is nothing jolly about these.
6. Life Savers. This is meant to kill bad breath, it is not a treat.
5. Smarties. I hear some kids crush them up and snort them. Well, sounds better than eatting them.
4. Licorice. This is the anti-candy.
3. Religious anything.
2. Leftover candy form other holidays. Easter, last year's Christmas, even Valentines day. It is likely out of code, and should not be given to anyone.
1. Raisins. These are not a treat. If you hand them out, your house should be egged.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Things to do on Halloween.
This is a list of things that is completely acceptable to on Halloween. Most of these should not be done any other day of the year.
Egg the houses of people handing out raisins. Those aren't candy. They are grapes that need to be thrown out.
Go to churches while wearing a devil costume. Play it completely straight.
Take a friends kid trick or treating. This is a loophole that lets adults get free candy.
Dress like a whore. That is pretty much what every female costume is anyway.
Use it as an excuse to show up at your job out of uniform. Just show up in your regular cloths and claim to be some character. Even the worst ballbuster of a boss won't call you on this.
Hide behind be "in character" while in your costume to get a pass on saying grossly inappropriate things. You know, if you don't have the balls at other times.
Minor acts of vandalism.
Begging.
Egg the houses of people handing out raisins. Those aren't candy. They are grapes that need to be thrown out.
Go to churches while wearing a devil costume. Play it completely straight.
Take a friends kid trick or treating. This is a loophole that lets adults get free candy.
Dress like a whore. That is pretty much what every female costume is anyway.
Use it as an excuse to show up at your job out of uniform. Just show up in your regular cloths and claim to be some character. Even the worst ballbuster of a boss won't call you on this.
Hide behind be "in character" while in your costume to get a pass on saying grossly inappropriate things. You know, if you don't have the balls at other times.
Minor acts of vandalism.
Begging.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Why I Love Halloween
Long time readers of this blog will know that I have a love of Halloween. Some of you have asked "why". So, this week I will try to explain my love of this holiday.It should be no surprise to anyone that childhood memories play a role in my love for Halloween. Of course, there are other reasons as well.
First, it was the only holiday that wasn't in someway ruined by members for my family. My parents didn't fight over it, my brothers did not do things to make it unpleasant. There was no boring day spent with extended family ending in a bad meal, like so many other holidays. There was just costumes, candy, some time alone going door to door.
Also school was a little less torturous during Halloween. School was a kind of psychological torture for me, from the first day of kindergarten to final day of high school. While my grades were good, I hated everyone, everything, and every moment spent in school. However on Halloween it wasn't so bad. The teachers didn't seem as suicidal and incompetent. It was the one day I wasn't the most outcast among the students, on Halloween that "honor" went to the kid with no costume (likely the child of fundamentalists).
Now that was all a long time ago. In adult life I have found more reasons to love Halloween. From the various hooker outfits that women wear on Halloween, to the cheap candy you can get on the first of November. Plus it seems to be the only barrier to Christmas taking over more of the year than it already has.
There is much more I could say on this subject. However, most of it is either too personal, or too depressing, for this outlet. Thanks for reading. Next week will be a bit more funny, and a lot less personal.
First, it was the only holiday that wasn't in someway ruined by members for my family. My parents didn't fight over it, my brothers did not do things to make it unpleasant. There was no boring day spent with extended family ending in a bad meal, like so many other holidays. There was just costumes, candy, some time alone going door to door.
Also school was a little less torturous during Halloween. School was a kind of psychological torture for me, from the first day of kindergarten to final day of high school. While my grades were good, I hated everyone, everything, and every moment spent in school. However on Halloween it wasn't so bad. The teachers didn't seem as suicidal and incompetent. It was the one day I wasn't the most outcast among the students, on Halloween that "honor" went to the kid with no costume (likely the child of fundamentalists).
Now that was all a long time ago. In adult life I have found more reasons to love Halloween. From the various hooker outfits that women wear on Halloween, to the cheap candy you can get on the first of November. Plus it seems to be the only barrier to Christmas taking over more of the year than it already has.
There is much more I could say on this subject. However, most of it is either too personal, or too depressing, for this outlet. Thanks for reading. Next week will be a bit more funny, and a lot less personal.
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