Saturday, November 15, 2014

Warlords of Draenor

A new expansion to World of Warcraft released this month. Just like the last four expansions, the launch went poorly to say the least. Long waits to sign on, new incredibly glitchy content, and of course the worst trolls and white knights fighting for hours in general chat.

To actually play the game you will need to wait. It will take between 90 minutes and 5 hours to sign on. You will need to find something to do during this time. This is where a handheld or gaming console would come in very handy. Never thought a new PC release would lead me to playing more 3ds and Playstation 3. Seems Blizzard found a way to make it happen.

Now once you are on you will be greeted with new content. For some reason almost none of this content is phased, so you will be trying to do the same quest as over a thousand other players at the same time. This will make completing any quests virtually impossible. You need to kill 8 of a particular monster, so do the other 1500 players in your immediate area, so good luck with that. Not only that also the servers are going down several times an hour hotfix various problems, so after hours of waiting you will likely get less than 15 minutes of time in game. That monthly charge on your credit card seems so worth it.

Now if you do actually manage to get on for more than a few minutes you will get to watch "The rule of Aaron" in action. If you are unfamiliar "The rule of Aaron" the idea that the worst 1% of a group will ruin it for everyone. In this case the worst 1% is debating in general chat about how the launch is going. One group feels that there is no problem and no mistakes have been or are being made.  The other feels they are being raped (or worse). Both groups are very vocal, and neither are interested in facts or logic.

Now the actual new content is good. There is a city building mechanic that is very well done, along with new and interesting zones. The loot system has been revamped giving you more of a reason to go through content multiple times. The new stuff is great, actually getting on to enjoy it is the main problem.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Answers for Problems

Here are just a few problems out in the worlds, and some solutions for them.

Unemployment. Take of a life of crime. Worst case you end up in prison, where you will have a roof over your head and three squares a day.

Teen pregnancy. Abortion is legal, right? Problem solved.

Ebola in the USA. We fence off Florida as a quarantine zone/Ebola colony. No one will miss Florida.

The war on drugs. Two options here. One, legalize them all and tax the hell out of them. Or start executing the people that launder the money. Either way.

Illegal immigration. We annex the countries these people come from, and then improve them to the point that there is no need to leave.

Now these are just a few. If you have any problems that need a solution, just leave them in the comments, and we will get to them later.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Top 10 Best and Worst Halloween Treats.

Halloween is the best best of all holidays. You get free candy. However, not all candy was created equal. So lets see the the best and worst.

We will start with the best.

10. Dum Dums. Small lollipops that comes in dozens of different flavors, and most of them are pretty good.

9. M&Ms. All varieties. These would be higher if there weren't so few of them in the "fun size" they hand out.

8. Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme. Enjoyable as long as it is not too cold.

7. Butterfinger. Tasty, but they do tend to get caught in your teeth.

6. 3 Musketeers. Light and sweet.

5. Twix. A good balance on this one, chocolate, with chewy caramel, and a crunchy cookie. Just feels nice in the mouth.

4. Peanut Butter Snickers.

3. Milky Way. Even better if it is the dark chocolate version. 

2. Kit Kat. They are just half a fun sized, and are good in all three flavors (white, milk, and dark).

1.  Reese Peanut Butter Cup. The king of all Halloween candy. Chocolate and peanut butter, what more do you need?

Now for the other side of things. The bad Halloween "treats".

10. Pennies. Well at least it is money. A small ineffectual amount, but still.

9. Tootsie rolls. They come in many flavors, and they are all horrid.

8. Coupons. Doesn't matter what they are for. If you are doing this to promote your own business, then you need some better ideas.

7. Jolly Ranchers. There is nothing jolly about these.

6. Life Savers. This is meant to kill bad breath, it is not a treat.

5. Smarties. I hear some kids crush them up and snort them. Well, sounds better than eatting them.

4. Licorice. This is the anti-candy.

3. Religious anything.

2. Leftover candy form other holidays. Easter, last year's Christmas, even Valentines day. It is likely out of code, and should not be given to anyone.

1. Raisins. These are not a treat. If you hand them out, your house should be egged.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I am sorry.

Recently this blog has not been up to the standard I would like it to be. I have gotten lazy. For that I am sorry. Things are going to be better around here. Please bare with me. I owe ever reader better than I have been doing.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Fuck AT&T

The last several weeks my landline phone has not been working. So I called up my provider, AT&T. In the end the problem was fixed. However, it was neither a smooth or timely process.

 I called first thing in the morning, and was told they would come to investigate/fix the problem between 9am and 6pm, and ask that you leave an alternate number for them to contact you Seems like a rather large time window. It seems to have not been large enough, as they at no point came nor called to say they weren't coming. They tell you if you are not at home when they come, you will not get service, but will get 55$ fine for them showing up for nothing. However, it seems you get nothing for them wasting your time.

They did however call the next day at 8am to investigate the problem. So they made me waste a day at home, and then call and wake me up the next morning. Once they arrived it took them only a few minutes to fix the problem.

Fuck you AT&T. Your monopoly in my area forces me to use you. If any other option excited, I would use them instead.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Things to do on Halloween.

This is a list of things that is completely acceptable to on Halloween. Most of these should not be done any other day of the year.

Egg the houses of people handing out raisins. Those aren't candy. They are grapes that need to be thrown out.

Go to churches while wearing a devil costume. Play it completely straight.

Take a friends kid trick or treating. This is a loophole that lets adults get free candy.

Dress like a whore. That is pretty much what every female costume is anyway.

Use it as an excuse to show up at your job out of uniform. Just show up in your regular cloths and claim to be some character. Even the worst ballbuster of a boss won't call you on this.

Hide behind be "in character" while in your costume to get a pass on saying grossly inappropriate things. You know, if you don't have the balls at other times.

Minor acts of vandalism.