Saturday, February 21, 2015

Strange Thing Happened

I was at Target, doing my mother's shopping for her as she just had back surgery. As I go through the store, I notice a guy following me, and staring me down. The guy doing it is about my age, average build, nothing really distinctive about him. So after several he does this on several different aisle I ask him "You need something buddy?". He looks at me with obvious anger and says "You don't even remember me!". Look him over, "There a reason I should?". Now is when the story get a little strange as he claims that I "assaulted" him in "computer class". This is strange as last time I was in a "computer class" was close to three decades ago in high school. He goes on to say he had to transfer schools over what happened, and demands I apologize for ruining him life. Instead, I tell tell to "Grow up, fuck off, and don't bother me. Or just the last two".

That happened earlier this week. I don't think the guy was crazy. As I have thought about it, and I think I know the indecent he was referring too. It was during my freshman year, and yes was in a "computer class". It was early in the school year, either September of early October, and another student was making a great deal of noise. I asked him (nicely) to please quiet down. He got up, shoved me and said "make me". I didn't, I asked him agian to to lower his volume, so he pushed me again. At that point I hit him, and again, and then slammed him medium hard in to the ground. The teacher broke it up. He tried to get her to believe I was in the wrong, she pointed out that he had attacked first, and that I had only defended myself. He went back to his seat in tears. The teacher kept me with her, I assumed to yell at me, but was wrong. She told me he got what deserved, and said it was smart that I hadn't hit him in the face. This was a very minor event to me, and till this week hadn't thought about it at all. Should be noted, that she was the first teacher I ever had any respect for.

I am not sure why it stuck with this other guy so much. I think perhaps it was his first and maybe only experience with violence. I don't know if I should envy or pity that. Well sorry this isn't funny, but I felt the need to share it somewhere, and this is my outlet.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Top 5 Fictional Products That Should Exist.

These are products that exist only in fiction, but should really exist.

5. Bachelor Chow. A food that has everything your body needs on a daily basis. Just need to eat it three times. Seriously, why doesn't this exist?

4. Big Kahuna Burger. I have it on good authority that is a "tasty burger".

3. Soylent Green. Think different countries would taste different?

2. Nails Cigarettes.

1. Nuka Cola Quantum. If there can be a Darito flavored soda, why not this? 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Top 5 Best Male Role Models on TV.

Manliest men on TV.

5. Carl Brutananadilewski
He works from home, and owns many rental properties.

4. Jeff Winger
Lied his way into being a lawyer.

3. Brock Samson
Does his duty.

2. Sterling Archer
He did write "How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written"

1. Ron Swanson

There is a pyramid of greatness that explains why.

Sunday, January 18, 2015


It is a year to the day since my father died. Sorry, I have nothing for you this week.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

I just don't get it.

This is series of things that I just do not understand. Maybe you good readers out there can shed some light on some of these topics.

Foot fetish. Yeah, everyone is into something and that is fine. Why feet though? Were you always into them, or did it just come along at some point? What about the women that are give in to this, do you really get anything out it? There are certainly stranger things out there, but this one is kind of common, and has always baffled me.

Team sports. Bunch of dudes get together and play with their balls, and for some reason people want to watch it. In fact people seem to be very devoted to various sports teams. If you are gambling on every game, then I understand the interest. If you aren't betting, then why do you care?

The dudes that thing the stripper/hooker really likes him. It is possible, but highly unlikely. She is doing whatever she has to get money for her kid, or for her next fix, or whatever else. She saw you were weak, lonely, willing to believe the bullshit, so she lays it on thick. How does anyone really fall for this?

People that make of show of saying grace even at a fast food restaurant. Your ordering off the value menu, clearly god hasn't been on your side lately. There is a time and a place for this kind of thing, at home, with your family. Why do you need to do this in public? If you must do it in public, why do you need to make such a show out of it?

Bleach blondes. Blonde hair looks good a very small number of people. Yet a huge number of people bleach their hair. What is the rational for doing this?