Tales of the MFer Vol. 1

The following story is sadly true. This happened roughly 10 years ago. 

So we were at a local pizza place. There was myself, and two others, we were getting some dinner. One of them had invited the MFer to join us, he later admitted he didn't think he would actually come. We had been enjoying a conversation about movies, but once the MFer sat down the conversation shifted to something horrid.

It was a story about events in World of Warcraft, which we all played at the time. It seems there was a group of people that were streaming World of Warcraft for charity, they were starting new characters and playing 24/7 till reaching maximum level. He and people he knew on an internet forum had taken it upon themselves to troll the people doing this. They had done this to the point that Blizzard stepped in and stop them, threatening to ban accounts if this continued.

The three of us were stunned, why would someone actively try to harass and hinder a charity? He laughed at our horror, and add that the charity was a children's charity for children in hospitals. The MFer went on to tell us that he and guild felt they had to do this, as the people streaming had not expressly ask them if it was alright to do this event on "their server" (to be clear this was an offical World of Warcraft server and not any kind of private server). He seemed generally to not understand why we didn't find this hilarious and was somewhat angry that we didn't agree that he and his guild "owned" the server.

During his telling of this, we had all tried to change the subject, with him forcing his way ahead with his story. It is also worth noting that despite sharing in our pizza, he paid for none of it, nor for the drinks he ordered. Instead getting a "phone call" he had to take when the check came.

Top 5 Worst Fast Food Items.

Fast food is almost never great. However some of it is far worse than others.


5. McDonald's Filet o Fish. Fish as fast food is not a great idea.

Grey fist and and tons of mayo.

4. Carl's Jr's Turkey Burgers. There are several version of this, all of them are dry, bland, and forgettable.

It like a real burger, without all the good parts.

3. Papa John's Frito Chili Pizza. Don't play games with pizza.

If you hate both yourself and pizza, order this.

2. Taco Bell's Beefy Crunch Burrito. Nasty fake cheese, overly salty chips. Taco Bell has a lot of gross items, but this is stands out even their.

It is like party in your mouth, if everyone had diarrhea.

1. McDonald's McRib. All the parts of the pig not good enough for bargain brand hotdogs.

I got nothing, just look at it.

Making a frozen pizza better.

Good pizza is hard to find. Good pizza is also expensive. You can buy frozen pizza, but it is usually pretty bad. The good news is, you can make some frozen pizza fairly good, with a just a little effort.

First you need the right frozen pizza to act as a base. Thick crust varieties will never turn out very good. So you need a thin crust. Don't bother getting anything with toppings, you can add your own and they will taste far better than what generally comes on a frozen pizza.

Here is a great place to start.

Now you have the base, it is time to build upon it. First we need more cheese. Mozzarella is nice. A little jack cheese is good too. A good way to save money is to use "string cheese". Take 2-4 string cheeses, slice/grate/pull them apart, put on the frozen pizza. Just having a bit more cheese will greatly improve your pizza.

Now is where you can add some toppings. You can get good meat balls fairly cheap. Or you could use some ham. Really this is all a matter of what you like. Virtually any meat is good. Mushrooms are nice. Just keep in mind that you want to cut whatever you are going to use to be fairly thin.

The last thing to keep in mind is that adding things to the pizza will increase the baking time. If it says 18 minutes, it will be more like 20. However many factors effect cooking time, and your mileage will vary. This will also be quite a bit cheaper than ordering a high end pizza, and be better than any cheap pizza you can order.

What The Hell Happened To Restaurants?

It seems like the management of restaurants is not what it once was. Lately it seems they are doing something wrong. They seem to running out of items, and not minor items either. It seem they are running out of the items you would most likely go into them to get. Three restaurants had this happen, and all in the same week.

Was with a few friends this weekend, and around about 8pm we decided to order a few pizza for delivery  So we give Pizza Hut a call, as they are the closest pizza available. Well, this idea ended quickly, as they were "out of pizza". It seems they ran out of the frozen dough discs that they make all of there pizzas with. Sure it was 8pm on a Saturday, but that is no excuse. One would think they would have like an emergency stock, just on case, but no. If you are a pizza place, and have no pizza, why are you even staying open?

Right now, at the time of writing this, El Pollo Loco is running a special for a 10$ whole chicken. Seem like a good deal, but you sit in the drive through, engine idling, only to be told they are out of chicken. This has happen to me several times. Everything at this place (nearly) requires chicken. How does even a grossly incompetent manager allow this to happen? This is worse than Pizza Hut, as this not only wastes time, but also gas. One would think they would put a sign in the window, so you wouldn't waste 20 minutes in the drive through with everyone having the same conversation with the window.

The worst offender on this lately is Marie Callender's. There have special that come with your choice of pie. A decent deal, or they would be except for one thing, they seem to have problems keeping pies in stock. So I eat, and at the end of the meal the waitress ask what kind of pie I want. I say "Kahlua, please". A moment later she returns "We are out of Kahlua", very well I think, it is not that common a pie. So I say, "Fine, then I will have pecan pie, please". She goes in that, and comes back "We are out of that too". So at this point I ask "Well what pies do you have in stock?", to which she replies "I don't know". First this waitress should be fired for being this dense, secondly how can more than one pie be completely out?

What happened to the people that manage restaurants? Did they all collectively decide to shove their heads up their asses? Did the large corporations that own these places cut down on bonuses, and they are taking it out on customers? Either way, something needs to be done.

Pet Peeves.

This is just a series of things that have been on my mind lately. Some people might call them pet peeves, but I am to angry for that, these are major psychotic hatreds that will one day make me snap. Feel bad for whoever is around me when that happen.

Young people that think they can solve the worlds problems. Your 19, and you think you can fix the world, but by the time you hit 23 you will have given up, and will begin to hate the person you were at 19. You can't fix the world, so please shut the hell up.

People with high ideals. They are never based in reality. There is another universe in which your ideal are practical, we don't exist in that one.

High pitched anything. Shut all children up, and oil all metal on metal contact. Duct tape and WD-40 exist for a reason.

Abusive people. Ironically these people just need a good beating. They needed one, and never got one. Might be too late now. Guess we will need to use a gun on them.

Fanboys. I don't care what you are into, nothing you say will make me care. Also how is it that fanboys are always have horrid personal hygiene, but everything they own related to their obsession is squeaky clean?

Openly religious people. Keep your imaginary friend to yourself. These people might just be fanboys themselves.

People obsessed with "reality" tv. It is just really poorly done fiction.

People that don't speak the native language of the country they are in. When I go to Canada I speak french where appropriate. When in Mexico I speak Spanish. I might not speak them perfectly, but at least I try. Is expecting the same form other so much?

Old women trying to look a lot younger than they are, it just makes it more obvious you are old bitch. Dress your age, you have never fooled anyone. The young dudes that come up to you are only there because they know you are an easy target.

People that can't hold their liquor. Man up light weight. Build your tolerance, and drink with pride.

Stoners that only talk about "legalizing it". One day it will happen, but nothing you are doing on your couch is going to speed it along.

Chicks that don't make with the head.

People that censor anything. It doesn't matter that you are offended. People can express themselves however they want. If you don't like it, ignore it, walk away from it, express yourself in a way opposed to them.

5 dollar pizzas. Yeah they are cheap, but they suck. I would rather spend 10 and get decent pizza. Better still, lets get 25 together and get a good, or maybe even great, pizza.

Anyone super into an "indy" scene. Independent stuff is just like regular stuff, 10% is great, 10% is crap, and the other 80% is in the middle. It doesn't matter if it is music, movie, video games, or anything else.

Flavored beer. I want beer to taste like beer. I don't want it to taste like fruit, or like sugar, or coffee, or any other flavor. Beer is its own flavor, and it is great flavor all on its own.