Black Friday

Its not really "Black Friday" this year. Most retailers are claiming some along the lines of "Black Friday all month" or all season long. The deals are not as good as usual. Doesn't look like they are going to get that way either. 

Not trying to be greedy, I just want some cheap video games. Maybe a cheap low end chromebook. Doesn't seem like that is in the cards. 

Walmart had some cheap movies, but that was only for a few days. Was label as "while supplies last", that seems to have been a bold faced lie. Wonder what else they will do that on?

Let's Talk About Customer Service.

Easter Time

Easter time is here again. It is the time of year when Christians celebrate the death and return of Optimus Prime, no, that isn't right, that other poorly written children's character... Jesus. Not that you would know that, based on what you see everywhere you would think this holiday was about chocolate gluttony, and rabbit fetishism.

He died for your sins... no wait, got them confused again.

Easter Sunday is kind of a downer if you are not in to the whole religious bullshit angle. Most of the stores are closed, and restaurants are either closed or serving a limited menu. Sure, this day is about the most common imaginary friend in the country, but does that mean everything in the country has to grind to a halt? Can't people do their regular jobs while paying superficial lip service? Times might be changing, Walmart is open on Easter.

He has the touch, he has the power... no wait, wrong one once again.

So tomorrow we can all go to Walmart and get some cheap imported products. Meh, still beats rationalizing the voices in your head by going to church, the people there are assholes anyway. If only there was a place to get a decent burger on Easter. Happy Zombie Jesus Day everyone.

Retail "Joys"

Everyone has worked retail at one time or another. If you haven't, you were more than likely born with a silver spoon shoved squarely up your ass. There are certain people that every retail employ has to deal with at one time or another. Doesn't matter where you worked, from Wal Mart to Nordstrom, the dressing might change but the costumer underneath is the same everywhere.

The "But they have it at _____" guy. This costumer wants something that your store does not carry. They come in to inform you that the local competition does have it. They seem to be under the impression that if your competitor carries it, and they inform you of it,  somehow magically it will appear in the store. It won't. If you want that item, please go to the competition, and never come back here.

Then there is the "Oh, I have a coupon.. but I think it is at home, can I use it anyway?" dumb-ass. No, you can't, not now, not ever. If you want to use a coupon, you need it with you at time of purchase. No amount of bitching at the register will make up give you a discount. Oddly enough you get this person more at place that don't actually ever have coupons. This might be the dumbest type of customer in existence, or maybe the one with the biggest balls, but then the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Oh and the "When will this be on sale?" asshole. As if the costumer service level person would know. The best answer to this person is "It was on sale a week or two a go, you just missed it by that much". It will go on sale whenever the hire ups feel like it, no one you can talk to can influence that. You will waste more money on the gas coming here to check that you will ever save on the product.

Welcome to your personal hell.

Working retail is a hell we all go through. Some people stay there forever, some move on to entirely different hells. In the end all we can do is laugh at it, because it hurts less than crying. Bonus points to you if ever told your manager what you really thought.

Retail Retards

Ever notice the look of the people that run the cash registers most places? Something seems "off" about these people. What it is is rather hard to pin down. Likely there are several things going on, a compound solution to the problems of the retail clerk.

Drugs? Retardation? Fetal alcohol syndrome? Little of each?

Admittedly not all retail workers need much in terms of mental abilities. The cart pushers, the door greeters, shelf fillers, and a few others, can be mostly without higher brain functions and perform their tasks just fine. Walmart and Target have taken this idea to its logical extreme.

Some retail workers seem to have something wrong with them. While some simply seem to be high, other seem to have more serious problems. In the retail game, there seem to be a lot of mild retardation. Some of them seem to have both going for them. Remember, don't move to fast around them, they might become aggressive.

Clearly these people have it bad, so we should try them with kindness. Don't take out your frustrations on retail workers. Instead take them out of children screaming in the store.

Black Friday.

It is that time of year when normally reasonable people spend hours to get 20$ off a bottom of the line television. It is a day retail employs hate, and only the dumbest of consumers enjoy. This day once signaled the start of the "Christmas season", now is seems to be right in the middle of this horrid time of year. Black Friday gets a little worse each year.

People think they will get good deals, but they don't. First, the deal are on items that are by and large not that good. Second there is the time spent to get the item. Time has a value, this value is different for each person. Rather than standing in line that time could be better spent doing almost anything thing else. The time wasted in line could be spent making money, sleeping, enjoying a meal, masturbating, with your other half, etc. By the time you have spend 3 (or more) hours in line, the money you might be saving is no longer worth it. So, if you need a deal wait till a sale next year, no waiting in line, and it will be a better model than the factory rejects that they sell only on Black Friday.

Black Friday, no day is more hated by retail employees. It starts earlier than any other work day, and the costumers are in a worse mood and much dumber than the average.  In the first half hour of the day, all the advertised deal are gone. So the remaining time in the day is spent hearing "What do you mean sold out?! When will you get more?!", the answer is never as the stuff on sale are promotional items that aren't normally carried. Then come the demands to see a manager, all of whom are hiding in the back, and won't come out for anything short of a fire. All of this ends with the store looking like looters have raided it, and it will remain in this state till sometime in the middle of January.

Every year Black Friday gets a little worse. The first was sometime in the 60's (so says Wikipedia), and slowly it has grown in to the hell on earth it is today. With each year store advertise a little more, and open a little earlier, 7am, 6am, 5am, 4am. The line wraps around the store a little more, and the shoppers come a bit earlier. This year it has gotten to a very sad point, Black Friday actually started at 10pm on Thursday at Wal-Mart. So where does it go next year? Do we go to 9pm Thursday? Will we eventually get to Black Friday starting on Wednesday?

We must stop this horrid event. Stay home, eat leftovers, read, play video games, watch porn, or plan the downfall of your enemies, just don't go shopping. Together we can bring sanity back.