It is that time of year when normally reasonable people spend hours to get 20$ off a bottom of the line television. It is a day retail employs hate, and only the dumbest of consumers enjoy. This day once signaled the start of the "Christmas season", now is seems to be right in the middle of this horrid time of year. Black Friday gets a little worse each year.
People think they will get good deals, but they don't. First, the deal are on items that are by and large not that good. Second there is the time spent to get the item. Time has a value, this value is different for each person. Rather than standing in line that time could be better spent doing almost anything thing else. The time wasted in line could be spent making money, sleeping, enjoying a meal, masturbating, with your other half, etc. By the time you have spend 3 (or more) hours in line, the money you might be saving is no longer worth it. So, if you need a deal wait till a sale next year, no waiting in line, and it will be a better model than the factory rejects that they sell only on Black Friday.
Black Friday, no day is more hated by retail employees. It starts earlier than any other work day, and the costumers are in a worse mood and much dumber than the average. In the first half hour of the day, all the advertised deal are gone. So the remaining time in the day is spent hearing "What do you mean sold out?! When will you get more?!", the answer is never as the stuff on sale are promotional items that aren't normally carried. Then come the demands to see a manager, all of whom are hiding in the back, and won't come out for anything short of a fire. All of this ends with the store looking like looters have raided it, and it will remain in this state till sometime in the middle of January.
Every year Black Friday gets a little worse. The first was sometime in the 60's (so says Wikipedia), and slowly it has grown in to the hell on earth it is today. With each year store advertise a little more, and open a little earlier, 7am, 6am, 5am, 4am. The line wraps around the store a little more, and the shoppers come a bit earlier. This year it has gotten to a very sad point, Black Friday actually started at 10pm on Thursday at Wal-Mart. So where does it go next year? Do we go to 9pm Thursday? Will we eventually get to Black Friday starting on Wednesday?
We must stop this horrid event. Stay home, eat leftovers, read, play video games, watch porn, or plan the downfall of your enemies, just don't go shopping. Together we can bring sanity back.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
The most Dysfunctional Time of the Year.
With the holidays upon us, I thought it was time for an honest song about the holidays.
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
With the kids loudly yelling
And everyone telling you "Fuck this time of year"
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
It's the crap-crappiest season of all
With the holiday drinking and mad family beatings
When friends come to call
It's the crap-crappiest season of all
There'll be parties for roasting
Jack Daniels for toasting
And passing out in the snow
There'll be scary old people
And tales of the relations you
Don't really know, you wish to go
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
There'll be much family beating
And blood will be flowing
When "loved" ones are near
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
There'll be parties for roasting
Jack Daniels for toasting
And passing out in the snow
There'll be scary old people
And tales of the relations you
Don't really know, you wish to go
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
There'll be much family beating
And blood will be flowing
When "loved" ones are near
It's the most dysfunctional time
It's the most dysfunctional time
It's the most dysfunctional time
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
With the kids loudly yelling
And everyone telling you "Fuck this time of year"
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
It's the crap-crappiest season of all
With the holiday drinking and mad family beatings
When friends come to call
It's the crap-crappiest season of all
There'll be parties for roasting
Jack Daniels for toasting
And passing out in the snow
There'll be scary old people
And tales of the relations you
Don't really know, you wish to go
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
There'll be much family beating
And blood will be flowing
When "loved" ones are near
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
There'll be parties for roasting
Jack Daniels for toasting
And passing out in the snow
There'll be scary old people
And tales of the relations you
Don't really know, you wish to go
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
There'll be much family beating
And blood will be flowing
When "loved" ones are near
It's the most dysfunctional time
It's the most dysfunctional time
It's the most dysfunctional time
It's the most dysfunctional time of the year
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Thanksgiving.
There is a holiday between the greatness of Halloween and the horrors of Christmas that seems to get smaller every year. That holiday is Thanksgiving. It is admittedly a waste of a good Thursday where you choke down a bad meal while putting up with people you can't stand. However Thanksgiving used to serve a purpose, that was to hold back all the overwhelming bullshit that comes with Christmas.
Once upon a time November was all about Thanksgiving. None of the stink of Christmas was on the month at all. Everything in the month was about the long weekend, and bad meal, that everyone had to look forward too. No Christmas movies were on TV during November, nor did you ever hear a Christmas song on the radio or played in a store. It was a time that was a buffer between the best and the worst holiday. The month helped you shift your gears. Not so much anymore.
Now Thanksgiving is almost forgotten. Starting November 1st the "Christmas season" is on, and its volume is turned to 11. Blaring Christmas music is in every store, and every channel play increasingly worse movies about Christmas. Thanksgiving was never a great holiday, but it was a nice calm before the storm.
Sadly, there is nothing to be done. Thanksgiving sucks, and no one seems to miss it, not that there was all that much to miss.
Once upon a time November was all about Thanksgiving. None of the stink of Christmas was on the month at all. Everything in the month was about the long weekend, and bad meal, that everyone had to look forward too. No Christmas movies were on TV during November, nor did you ever hear a Christmas song on the radio or played in a store. It was a time that was a buffer between the best and the worst holiday. The month helped you shift your gears. Not so much anymore.
Now Thanksgiving is almost forgotten. Starting November 1st the "Christmas season" is on, and its volume is turned to 11. Blaring Christmas music is in every store, and every channel play increasingly worse movies about Christmas. Thanksgiving was never a great holiday, but it was a nice calm before the storm.
Sadly, there is nothing to be done. Thanksgiving sucks, and no one seems to miss it, not that there was all that much to miss.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Children's Stories.
When you read a children's story as an adult one of two things can happen. One, you find out that it was a quality work of fiction that worked on more than one level and give you something new as an adult rereading it for the first time since childhood. Story like that are rare, but worth while if you find them. The second option is for the the story to be poorly written with an either poor or just bizarre moral lesson. We are here to talk about the second kind of stories.
"Green Eggs and Ham" is a classic Dr Seuss story that nearly everyone knows. However, when reading it as an adult you find it has a bad message. The message is that if you harass someone long enough they will give in and do whatever you want. This is not a good message for children, if it were to sink in just imagine how they would annoy you for ever little thing. It makes one wonder if this is the strategy Dr Seuss used to make his woman do certain things.
Longer stories can be just as bad. "Matilda" by Roald Dahl is a story about an abused, but highly intelligent, little girl and her struggles in childhood. Rather than show a realistic way for her to deal with her problems, we get a fantasy. It teaches you that all your problems will solve themselves, and you will get super powers for your troubles. Problems don't solve themselves, and no one has ever had super powers given to them through neglect (or at all for that matter).
The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein is another fine example of a story with a lesson children should not learn. It teaches a fine lesson about finding someone with no self-esteem to take advantage of repeatedly. The boy in the story never get punished for his leeching ways, and no one should be taken advantage of to the extreme that happens in the story. Now if the tree would of fallen on the boy when he chopped the tree down for lumber, that would of been a good lesson for kids. In that situation kids would of learned everyone has a breaking point.
There are many children's stories that have good messages for kid, and that can be enjoyed by adults. Sadly, the bad ones seem to be far more common.
"Green Eggs and Ham" is a classic Dr Seuss story that nearly everyone knows. However, when reading it as an adult you find it has a bad message. The message is that if you harass someone long enough they will give in and do whatever you want. This is not a good message for children, if it were to sink in just imagine how they would annoy you for ever little thing. It makes one wonder if this is the strategy Dr Seuss used to make his woman do certain things.
Longer stories can be just as bad. "Matilda" by Roald Dahl is a story about an abused, but highly intelligent, little girl and her struggles in childhood. Rather than show a realistic way for her to deal with her problems, we get a fantasy. It teaches you that all your problems will solve themselves, and you will get super powers for your troubles. Problems don't solve themselves, and no one has ever had super powers given to them through neglect (or at all for that matter).
The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein is another fine example of a story with a lesson children should not learn. It teaches a fine lesson about finding someone with no self-esteem to take advantage of repeatedly. The boy in the story never get punished for his leeching ways, and no one should be taken advantage of to the extreme that happens in the story. Now if the tree would of fallen on the boy when he chopped the tree down for lumber, that would of been a good lesson for kids. In that situation kids would of learned everyone has a breaking point.
There are many children's stories that have good messages for kid, and that can be enjoyed by adults. Sadly, the bad ones seem to be far more common.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Job Interview Questions.
We all need to work. To get work, we all need to endure overly long applications, and interviews. An interview is someone trying to size you up, see if they think you will work well in there company, and accomplish whatever it is they are trying for. Sadly, there are certain question asked at an interview for which there is no right answer.
One question that always seems to come up is "Why are you interested in working here?" or some variation on that. You can't answer honestly and say "I need the money", or "Because I want my power and Internet turned back on". Instead you need to bullshit out an answer about how you care about whatever it is the company does. The sad part is if you were to be honest you would never be hired.
Another question that has no real answer is "Where do you see yourself in (insert number) years from now?", as if it you have some grand and detailed plan. Again, honesty will lead to you not getting the position. If you said "Hopefully in a position where I never have to deal with a gentleman like yourself again", or "High enough above you in this company to fire you and blacklist you in this industry". So you need to give a completely made up answer where you seem ambitious, but not enough to be a threat to the interviewer or the company on question.
The real problem is that you can't really be honest with the interviewer. No one is really excited to start work anywhere. You are working to get money. It doesn't matter if you work for Microsoft or McDonald's, you are there for the pay check. The interview process is about you feigning excitement and motivation about the company in question. You get a job by lying, you keep it by not putting a bullet in your head, you advance by sucking just slightly less than the people around you.
One question that always seems to come up is "Why are you interested in working here?" or some variation on that. You can't answer honestly and say "I need the money", or "Because I want my power and Internet turned back on". Instead you need to bullshit out an answer about how you care about whatever it is the company does. The sad part is if you were to be honest you would never be hired.
Another question that has no real answer is "Where do you see yourself in (insert number) years from now?", as if it you have some grand and detailed plan. Again, honesty will lead to you not getting the position. If you said "Hopefully in a position where I never have to deal with a gentleman like yourself again", or "High enough above you in this company to fire you and blacklist you in this industry". So you need to give a completely made up answer where you seem ambitious, but not enough to be a threat to the interviewer or the company on question.
The real problem is that you can't really be honest with the interviewer. No one is really excited to start work anywhere. You are working to get money. It doesn't matter if you work for Microsoft or McDonald's, you are there for the pay check. The interview process is about you feigning excitement and motivation about the company in question. You get a job by lying, you keep it by not putting a bullet in your head, you advance by sucking just slightly less than the people around you.
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