Two Things, One Serious, One not so much.

Alright, two things today. First the more serious. I wold like to get more eyes on this blog, and more eyes on my various YouTube videos (channel right at the top of the page). Problem is, I have no idea how to do that. Does anyone? I would love any advice. I want to make people laugh, but you can't do that without an audience. This is not meant as a plea for help, or a cry for attention, this is just something on my mind I wanted to share with the good readers(or is viewers the right term) that I have. Thank you.

Now on to more usual schitck...

The Halloween time has stirred up some thoughts on horror. Not only horror, but fantasy and science fiction as well. These all being genres associated with Halloween to varying degrees. All get a bit of a spotlight on them for the month of October.

Are zombies and animated skeletons connected in some way? Does a zombie at a certain point become skeleton? Like if the zombie's flesh were to completely rot away, would the zombie then simply become an animated skeleton? Or are they completely unrelated? Sure they are both undead, beyond that are more closely connected?

While on the subject of zombies, do the cognitive abilities of a zombie degrade over time? When first risen, or turned, is a zombie at its peak? Or does it become better with age? Is a zombie more like beer or wine? If zombie are made by some kind of disease or infection, are some people more resistant than others? And would natural mutations lead to different breeds of zombie?

Has there ever been a medieval fantasy in which the adviser to the king wasn't corrupt? Seems like adviser, consort, vizier, or whatever, is not just corrupt but grossly corrupt. Shouldn't there be some screening for this kind of job? To work at a retail store you need a back ground check and a drug test, shouldn't someone with the ear of the king get at least the same treatment? Or are all of them just political douchebags that got where they are at with bribes and ass kissing? Seems like some tighter standards should be held by kings.

Halloween Hatred.

It is no secret that that I love Halloween. Recently some people pointed out that I throw hate and insult on all the other holidays, and show only love for Halloween. This is true, there is no debating it. So today we will talk about some "pet peeves" of mine about Halloween. So let the hate being.

Anyone that has ever put a costume on their pet. This is not a holiday for pets, and no pet has ever wanted or needed to wear cloths. It is not cute, it is a sign to the world that you have, or will, made/make love to your pet at some point. A pet is not a child, you are not a parent. You an asshole with a creepy relationship with your animal.

All the religious groups that come out of the woodwork when Halloween time comes. No "god" gives a shit about Halloween. If you think your "god" does, find a better one. "Satan" has better things to do than getting people to hand out tiny candies while in costume. If "Satan" is running any holiday, it is Christmas.

Seeing the sad kid with no costume. Usually the child of an insane couple. They have some issue with Halloween (likely based in some religious gibberish), and feel the need to force it on to the child. Children have enough bullshit to deal with, there is no need to heap more on them. Let them have some free candy, and dress up like whatever it is they are into these days. 

People giving out pennies. Pennies are not candy. Pennies are just barely currency. People hand them out should get cancer, and some heavy metal poisoning for good measure. If you hand out pennies you house deserves to get egged. Go spend 20$ on some chocolate.

There is hate here, even for the only good holiday Halloween. While generally the good overshadows the bad, the bad is still there. Only a few more days left till Halloween, then the horrors (and whores) of Christmas start.

Earthbound.

A video I made about a game I remember fondly. It was back on the SNES. Enjoy.

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Halloween Don'ts

Long time reader of this blog will know of my love for Halloween. It is the only good holiday, the only holiday I have good memories of as a child. In recent years things things have started to happen that need to be put to an end.

Don't hand out things that aren't candy. Pretzels are not candy. Raisins are not candy,  they are not even nature's candy, handing them out will lead to your house being rightfully egged. If you are giving out dental supplies, they had better come with some fucking chocolate. If you hand out pennies children are within there rights to kill your pets.

Don't go to a church function on Halloween.There is more than enough superficial religious dressing on other holidays.  We don't need this taint on Halloween. We need scares, free candy, and as much distance form religion as we can get. If you must go to a church on Halloween it should be to perform hilarious pranks in the black of night.

Don't send your child to school without a costume. Is getting your kid beaten at school worth whatever bullshit you are into? In fact if Halloween is on a school night, just let the kid take Halloween and the day after off. With or without costume give the kid a good memory.

Don't do any Christmas shopping before Halloween. The line must be drawn here. Christmas has taken over Thanks Giving. We can't let another Holiday be steamrolled by the unholy curse that is Christmas. We must fight Christmas by making Halloween bigger, and longer. Slowly letting Halloween bleed into November till we have pushed Christmas back into December.

This one is for the women out there, don't be pissed when men look at you in your "sexy ______" outfit. I say "sexy ______" because every costume for women is basically a fetish whore outfit. Nurse, cat, vampire, zombie, cop, whatever else you got, are all just hooker outfits with a theme that barely justifies it as a costume. If you dress like a whore, don't be pissed when you get looked at as such. Not that I am complaining about the outfits, only the bitchy attitude that comes with them far to often.

Halloween is great, lets keep it that way.