Thursday, June 16, 2011

Teen Suicide.

This is something we should be encouraging. Teenagers think they have it bad, so rather than try to show them they have it easy, lets tell them they should just end it. This would ease many problems. After all, the only ones that would do it are the weakest ones, and we don't need them anyway.

Think of the problems this could solve. Classroom sizes would be smaller. When you encounter a teenage cashier (or what have you) there would be far less chance of them handing you huge amounts of attitude. Fewer young drivers on the road, which would make the roads safer to a degree. Most importantly. few young people bitching about things that don't really matter.

There are many ways we could encourage teen suicide. Posters around schools with slogans like "Think you got its bad, then end it pussy". Guidance councilors could handout motivational pamphlets on the subject.  Outside of schools, television could help us with commercials with some celebrities trying to work off community service hours. Perhaps a nice after school special, where it should how much better the world could be without certain students.

Just think what the world could be like.


  1. I'm not entirely certain that seriously thinking about this didn't make me a worst person >_>

  2. Haha a great start to a satire essay. A bad start to being a moral person haha. Keep up the "offending" *wink* *wink*

  3. Haha, "evil thought" indeed mate. Keep it up!